Friend's/Family's reaction to your decision to join the CHP?

[TheTransporter]

Ok, to all you hopefuls on the board, I'm sure you've been telling everyone you know about your aspirations to join the California Highway Patrol. And, I'm sure all of the current officers remember when they were in the same situation. So what were the reactions that you received when you told everyone you wanted to join? Well, for me, it's been a mixed bag. My friends are pretty psyched for me. I get the usual friend asking me to let them off should I pull them over,(but then I have to politely tell them that the law is the law, and if they were to break it, I'd be required to perform the necessary procedure, no exceptions...) A lot of my friends say that they can see me doing the Highway Patrol specifically. Why I don't know, but hey if that's their honest opinion, I'll take it, I can also see myself doing it! And then there's the family reaction. The only family members that know what I want to do are my mom and my sister. I'm not sure if they've told anyone else in the extended family. But to be honest, I'm not really feeling the support.

To start out with, my sister seems staunchly against it, almost to the point of sounding anti-LEO. She's kinda the same way with my military aspirations. I guess because it doesn't fit into her vision for me,(going to college, preferably somewhere like Berkeley). Now, don't get me wrong, I probably will continue my education, but it'd be nice to have a good solid job whilst doing it, which I'll have in the Air Force.

And then there's my mom. She always seemed more or less indifferent, but one day she said something that really struck me. We were having a conversation about salary in the CHP, and I mentioned how it was good it was relative to other LE agencies. To which she said, "Well, you can't spend your money if you're dead." I took this as sort of a morbid statement, it made me nearly sick when she said it. I just wouldn't think this would be something a mother, or any parent for that matter, would tell their child.

There's much more to this story, but I'll refrain from droning on about it. I feel like I've already turned this thread into a mini-episode of Dr. Phil...:lol:

So yeah, feel free to add your experiences!

[tan_hopeful79]

Interesting thread topic Transporter! That's obviously something very current and important to all of us chp wannabes. I've been informing people in my life about the new career choice starting with the most important -partner, close friends, family- to least important like the more superficial relationships. Overwhelmingly, my close friends and family all think it's a great idea for me and can totally see me doing it. I think their impression of me is of a person who, like any candidate for the chp, is a good person and wants to do the right thing. Additionally, I've been riding bikes for years so the first comments are always like, "Are you going to do a motorcycle?". To which I always answer, 'If I can make the cut, HELL YEAH!'.

I think the hardest person at first was my partner and addressing the element of danger that goes into a career in LE, but I understand the chp academy is one of the hardest police academies with the newest and best technology. I know that officer safety is a priority and that I'll gain the knowledge I need to keep me safe. Your mom and sister both really care about you and are just worried that something could happen. I think for a lot of folks the trade off, just the risk involved, would be too much and it's hard for them to understand how a person could choose to do such a dangerous job. We obviously believe that we can make a difference in our communities. For myself, once I had this calling I had to follow it, see where it takes me and if I could make the cut.

I feel for ya, and hope that they're able to come around and give you some support. Let them know that chp has one of the best academies in the country.

[CTCI08Wife]

And then there's my mom. She always seemed more or less indifferent, but one day she said something that really struck me. We were having a conversation about salary in the CHP, and I mentioned how it was good it was relative to other LE agencies. To which she said, "Well, you can't spend your money if you're dead." I took this as sort of a morbid statement, it made me nearly sick when she said it. I just wouldn't think this would be something a mother, or any parent for that matter, would tell their child.


Actually, it's exactly the kind of thing a parent SHOULD say to their child. It's part of making sure your kid has the right picture of what the job really is. So many people are drawn to LE (CHP specifically) because of the salary/benefits. The numbers are so appealing, one tends to forget the true danger in the job... there is a REASON you get paid so well. As a spouse/child/sibling of CHP officers, there is not a single day that goes by I don't think "Is today going to be the day?" Bravo to your Mom for having such a realistic outlook on the job - too many just don't get how dangerous this job really is. I actually heard a comment from someone "How bad could it be? All he does is stand on the side of the road and write tickets" :doh: Never mind that vehicular assault is the #1 killer of CHP officers....

[gabriel]

... I actually heard a comment from someone "How bad could it be? All he does is stand on the side of the road and write tickets" :doh: Never mind that vehicular assault is the #1 killer of CHP officers....

That's pretty sad that someone has the mind to say something like that. Hope you dropped some much needed knowledge on that individual.

[atkrocket]

The only thing that strikes me is the " I want a solid job" comment. Don't come to this career just looking for pay and benefits, it's more than that. This career can be beneficial in more ways than just money and medical coverage. With the short amount of time on the job, I've already seen too many new officers only caring about this just being a job and it shows in their performance. It seems FNG's are scared to work or worried that they have to write that last minute arrest report, who cares it's what you signed up for and what we are payed to do. Sorry if this post went a littley off tangent, I just would hope you look at the CHP as more than a "Job". Good luck Transporter.

[TheTransporter]

The only thing that strikes me is the " I want a solid job" comment. Don't come to this career just looking for pay and benefits, it's more than that. This career can be beneficial in more ways than just money and medical coverage. With the short amount of time on the job, I've already seen too many new officers only caring about this just being a job and it shows in their performance. It seems FNG's are scared to work or worried that they have to write that last minute arrest report, who cares it's what you signed up for and what we are payed to do. Sorry if this post went a littley off tangent, I just would hope you look at the CHP as more than a "Job". Good luck Transporter.

Oh no, I just meant that as far as my time in the Air Force. Don't worry, I know that the CHP is more than just a regular job. It's a calling, a career, something that becomes part of you. I know it's not always going to be pretty, but this is something I've wanted to do since I was very little so I'm already motivated to do my best once I get there. I've never been one to do things half-heartedly.


Actually, it's exactly the kind of thing a parent SHOULD say to their child. It's part of making sure your kid has the right picture of what the job really is. So many people are drawn to LE (CHP specifically) because of the salary/benefits. The numbers are so appealing, one tends to forget the true danger in the job... there is a REASON you get paid so well. As a spouse/child/sibling of CHP officers, there is not a single day that goes by I don't think "Is today going to be the day?" Bravo to your Mom for having such a realistic outlook on the job - too many just don't get how dangerous this job really is. I actually heard a comment from someone "How bad could it be? All he does is stand on the side of the road and write tickets" Never mind that vehicular assault is the #1 killer of CHP officers....

Well, I'm glad she's not saying something along the lines of "How bad it could be?". I think that would be really an odd thing to say, for any agency, let alone the one agency whose officers routinely work on the side of a road where drivers may be going at an upwards of 75 MPH, and that's not even factoring in fatigued drivers, deuces, and the like. I'm well aware of the danger, but maybe I just never fully communicated that to my mom. Whenever I travel to Los Angeles, which is quite often, I pass the signs on SR-60 dedicated to Officers Steiner and Romero. So, the reminders are there, but my desire to join this department hasn't wavered. It is still my ultimate goal to become a part of this department so I can serve the citizens of California and help keep them safe on our state's highways.

[jruiz]

The feed back I've gotten is a pretty full bag of everything as well, my wife for quite some time was against me getting into this line of but something somewhere snapped and she is now all for it, my brother was/is still the most enthusiastic about it, he too wants an LE career (we are twins) and we both often talk about the different aspects of the job, my mom on the other hand has voiced multiple times that she does not want me doing this and has said to both my brother and I that she does not want to bury one or both of her sons. I do get that people tell me that they can see me in the CHP and they (my wife, brother, and friends) say I'd fit right in. Good luck to all in the process. :biggrin:

[TheRiddler]

I guess because it doesn't fit into her vision for me,(going to college, preferably somewhere like Berkeley). Now, don't get me wrong, I probably will continue my education, but it'd be nice to have a good solid job whilst doing it, which I'll have in the Air Force

Are you still in high school? If so, I recommend attending a community college first. I got into Berkeley and Davis but am going to Davis. What a waste of money the first two years were. I was simply doing general education that could have easily been done for less money anywhere else.
Also, with the state budget how it is and MASSIVE student fee increases, you might want to wait as long as possible to see what happens. There are mumbles of privatizing the UC system.

Additionally, I've been riding bikes for years so the first comments are always like, "Are you going to do a motorcycle?". To which I always answer, 'If I can make the cut, HELL YEAH!'.

My experience has been the same, but my response is the opposite. If I can't wear a full-face helmet, I won't be on a motorcycle.

I've only had one person oppose me joining the CHP, while everyone else supports me. And that one person considers me overqualified in terms of intellectual capacity. She assumes I could do so much more. Personally, I don't think I could do anything better with my life than help protect the lives of others.

[Mom]

As the mother of a CHP officer, and the DIL of another, and a "niece" of a few, my initial reaction to my son's suggestion of the CHP for a career was "Do you know what you are in for?" And once I knew he knew, he knew he had my full support. I know all his brothers and sisters supported him. His dad, well, he supported him, but the fear of losing a son is still in the back of his mind.

[TheTransporter]

Are you still in high school? If so, I recommend attending a community college first. I got into Berkeley and Davis but am going to Davis. What a waste of money the first two years were. I was simply doing general education that could have easily been done for less money anywhere else.
Also, with the state budget how it is and MASSIVE student fee increases, you might want to wait as long as possible to see what happens. There are mumbles of privatizing the UC system.

Nope, already graduated and in my second year at a local CC. They're talking about raising unit prices through the roof, plus they've already cut about 25% of the classes. With more cuts upcoming...

[1chance4chances]

My wife has been very excited for me since I completed the application, she has said since that day I would make it, I have heard her tell people that "he has always done everything right he's gonna make it." My parents very supportive although mom's feelings are sketchy. Older brother very excited for me and a great motivator, he wanted CHP but ended up a CO. Younger brother is proud of me, but too cool to say it so he texted it to me. All extended family has been very supportive. Friends and co workers have been at the least accepting of the idia, most have been supportive and happy for me. I have also made it a point not to let everyone I know, know what I am doing just the people that are closer to me.

[yz250roost]

Great thread, it helps me to see that other people have been through this as well. My experience has been very similar to the others. My wife has always been supportive, but at the same time concerned about my safety. She knows this is something I desperately want to do and that the reasons behind my motivation are more than monetary.

My Mom and Dad's first reactions weren't as expected. The first thing my Mom said was, "The CHP has the highest rate of suicide in law enforcement." I knew that was just her way of expressing concern, so I didn't hold it against her. She is now excited for me and constantly is asking how the process is going. It's a mothers nature to be concerned and usually the first things out of their mouths revolve around protection.

My siblings are all excited, a few of them are looking into becoming LEO's. One of the things I hate is when we've told a husband and wife about my desire to join the CHP, and the wife looks at her husband and says, "Hey Honey, you should join the CHP too, you guys could be in the Academy together." The guy usually has a decent job that he's happy with and his wife has just placed my aspirations above his. This process takes a deep desire to complete it and it's a calling in my opinion. It's perfect for me, but might not be for someone else.

All in all everyone is happy for me, and it's refreshing to know I have a bunch of people who care about my well being and aren't afraid to bring those concerns up with me.

Good luck everyone.

[tan_hopeful79]

My experience has been the same, but my response is the opposite. If I can't wear a full-face helmet, I won't be on a motorcycle.



This has been a concern of mine as well. Most of my friends who ride are excited by the idea of me getting on a motor, but their next question has been "Can you wear a full face helmet?" For safety reasons, and if I was so lucky as to become a motor, I would really want a full face. But who knows if policy will change, I don't want to speculate. I'm aiming for it regardless because I love to ride and think I could be a good chp as a motor, but I definately feel reservations about not wearing a full face. In addition, this cold weather would be brutal without the shield.

[logartist]

The responses I have received have mostly been supportive, but curious. I am somewhat of an academic, and with varied interests and abilities, excellent grades and undergraduate professors strongly suggesting graduate school, a lot of people were confused at my career choice (enter stereotype #1, police officers are in LE because they are incapable of other 'less menial' jobs and lack better choices).
I also went to a very liberal school, where more than one instructor asked something along the lines of, "why in the world would you want to be a police officer? They're part of the problem in this country." My usual response is to illustrate where society would be without LE, remind them that their common complaint is that LE are (cue stereotype #2) uneducated and brutish, and that by their own logic they should be applauding my decision.
Anyway, parental response has been supportive, albeit still on the "you could do better" side, while wife (who is former LE) is behind me all the way. We researched various agencies together, including at Federal level, and in all criteria, CHP won hands down. Looking forward to 1/4/10.

[cjincognito]

(enter stereotype #1, police officers are in LE because they are incapable of other 'less menial' jobs and lack better choices)...(cue stereotype #2) uneducated and brutish, and that by their own logic they should be applauding my decision.

Hey, I ain't no ingorent! Docter says I'd stop draggen my knuckles ifn only I'd stand upwrite...whatever that their means.

[73chevy]

I always wanted a career in LE, since I was a child. My parents knew and my sisters knew that. My mom was the only one that wasn't as happy as the rest of my family. My gf was excited for me especially after my first ridealong. My co-workers are excited for me and the rest of my family. I hear a lot people just want to join chp for the money. That's were i come in and inform them chp is more than just a high paying job, it's a responsibility.

[CHP-Davis]

First off, great thread. I considered starting a similar topic a few months back, but opted not to do so.

I remember the first day I broke the news to my family....it was at my own birthday dinner gathering. I was proud of my decision, and spoke anxiously of the news. Inherently many questions followed, and after all the research I did I answered everyone's questions to the tee.

All in all, I have received 100% support from my wife, and immediate family and friends. For me- I honestly thought getting my wife's approval was going to be the hardest challenge.....I was wrong! Its almost as though she knew I belong with CHP as much as I knew that it is my calling. She told me, if I was going anywhere in law enforcement chp was where she wanted me.

I am also very blessed to have a family friend/mentor retired high up in rank with CHP. She encourages me, and helps with any questions my wife may have.

Lets hear your experiences!

[Mom]

My mom was the only one that wasn't as happy as the rest of my family. From a mom's POV, this is a difficult career to "allow" your child to enter. You know there is a chance something will happen, and you tend to dwell on it. Here is a child that you gave birth to, protected, loved, disciplined, supported, and now they want a career where you can't protect them any more. Don't expect your mom to be thrilled, but she will come around. I think it is hard on moms. I knew my son would eventually choose this line of work, and I could only pray the instructors and his FTOs would teach him well enough that my fears will never happen. I still have the issues of all the things I had protected him from have invaded his life. He has had to experience children losing their parents in crashes, watching people die, having friends die, etc. I hide my issues. I know this is what he has wanted since he was a youngster, and I can only pray the CHP gives him all the tools he needs (and he takes advantage of them.)

So, yes, this will be hard on your mom. She will come around, but realize what she has to deal with.

[73chevy]

yea i know she will eventually come around

[Casualtr]

The reaction for the most part is supportive, but there are those who are 100% against it, My twin bother (JRuiz) has been the most supportive, when things got a little rough for me he was there, my wife the same, she's supported me from the get go, but my mother is completely against it, as JRuiz said she "doesn't want to bury one of both of us" she has also gone as far to say "I don't want this for you, when they shoot a Cop they shoot them dead!", I wish all of you the best of luck when trying to achieve your goals in this department, and for the class CTC I-10, I'm jealous you get to go, but I'm grateful you all will be living your dream!

Safety, Service and Security.... Dream it, Live it, Love it!

[iwannabeachp]

I know I'm still in the process, but my wife is extremly supportive of me going after my dream of being a CHP officer. I think that is because she was raised in a law enforcement house. My mother, who is from a small town in the midwest, simply hates the idea of me taking my family to "that place" (Los Angles). My family for some reason thinks that it is an all out war area. She thought the same about Seattle until I moved here and took her around town on her first visit.

[logartist]

I was reading the discussion several posts back about the dangers inherent to LE, and CHP in particular. This has certainly been a topic of serious and thoughtful discussion between my wife and I during the decision to apply as well as in preparation for joining. Walking up to my first dozen or more vehicles will likely be somewhat daunting, but two factors have helped set my mind, and the minds of my loved ones, at ease. First, in the last 30 years, the CHP has lost fewer than 60 officers in the line of duty (if 11-99 website is accurate, and I'm sure it is). This means that while danger is out there, requiring a constant state of awareness, the statistics are in our favor as individuals. I don't mean to sound callous toward our fallen heroes in any way; I'm simply removing myself from the emotions involved momentarily to see that with officers numbering in the thousands, the death rate is relatively low.
The second, and probably most important consideration, has been the confidence I have in the reputation for excellent training the CHP has earned. Right now, sustained high speed driving or walking up on a carload of young males behind tinted windows sound scary as heck, but I am confident that by the time cadet training and FTO programs are completed, I will have the knowledge and skills needed to perform the job safely, and continue to improve from there.

[PSDGirl]

I was reading the discussion several posts back about the dangers inherent to LE, and CHP in particular. This has certainly been a topic of serious and thoughtful discussion between my wife and I during the decision to apply as well as in preparation for joining. Walking up to my first dozen or more vehicles will likely be somewhat daunting, but two factors have helped set my mind, and the minds of my loved ones, at ease. First, in the last 30 years, the CHP has lost fewer than 60 officers in the line of duty (if 11-99 website is accurate, and I'm sure it is). This means that while danger is out there, requiring a constant state of awareness, the statistics are in our favor as individuals. I don't mean to sound callous toward our fallen heroes in any way; I'm simply removing myself from the emotions involved momentarily to see that with officers numbering in the thousands, the death rate is relatively low.
The second, and probably most important consideration, has been the confidence I have in the reputation for excellent training the CHP has earned. Right now, sustained high speed driving or walking up on a carload of young males behind tinted windows sound scary as heck, but I am confident that by the time cadet training and FTO programs are completed, I will have the knowledge and skills needed to perform the job safely, and continue to improve from there.

Only your first dozen huh? Now, I'm not an officer (dispatcher), but I can say with quite a bit of confidence that that number will be FAR, FAR more than your 'first dozen or so'. It is a VERY dangerous job, and being out there on the highway is only more of a realization of that danger. You will spend your entire career with pieces of that feeling. Don't expect it to go as any other job you have ever had, where after the first few stops 'you get the hang of it'. Conditions will always change, every stop will always have different circumstances, and the danger is NEVER gone.

You have chosen a very great agency, with great training - best of luck to you!

[kgallemore]

Would just like to say, great topic. Family is important and they also have a wealth of knowledge. When I decided that CHP was the LE department I wanted join, my wife was extremely supportive, usually how a wife should be. After all, her uncle (ret.) cousin (cpt.) are CHP. Not to mention that just the thought of her not having to get a ticket any more simply overwhelmed her with joy. She's been the super support that I've needed throughout the process and I consider myself lucky to have her.

The rest of my family, well that's another story. I informed my family of my plans at a family dinner one night, and had a bet with the wife about the reactions that certain family members were going to have. Due to spending my entire life with these people and knowing them very well I won the bet. We'll just break it down.

Mom - typical motherly response. "Do you know what your getting yourself into?" "You have to run...a lot." "You get pepper sprayed." "You get tazed." I knew she was going to be reluctant, but a few weeks later she stopped with all the "did you know's" and started asking how the running is going, and the workouts. She actually became pretty supportive.

Dad - Super proud. He applied but was rejected because he was too tall. I guess this was back when there were height restrictions, and well my dad is a pretty big guy 6'-7" if he slouches 6'-9" if he stands up straight. He expressed that he would be behind me all the way and suggested that we ride bikes together to help get into shape (pedal bikes that is). Super cool.

Sister - "So you can get me out of tickets right?" I told her that if she gets a ticket and uses my name to try and get out of it, it'll be the last thing she does. If she drives like a maniac and get's pulled over for it, she deserves the ticket. Overall pretty supportive.

Grandparents - "NO!!! you'll get shot at!" Typical grandparents response.

Overall my wives family has been super supportive. Letting me drive around their farm sliding cars around getting a feel for the whole rear wheel drive thing.

I have to say I've had a pretty good experience with telling the family.

[cjincognito]

... my wife was extremely supportive, usually how a wife should be. After all, her uncle (ret.) cousin (cpt.) are CHP. Not to mention that just the thought of her not having to get a ticket any more simply overwhelmed her with joy. ...

I hope she counts on safe driving practices more than your possible career! She wouldn't be the first spouse that got the rude awakening.

[jrsfan]

Not to mention that just the thought of her not having to get a ticket any more simply overwhelmed her with joy.


Sister - "So you can get me out of tickets right?" I told her that if she gets a ticket and uses my name to try and get out of it, it'll be the last thing she does. If she drives like a maniac and get's pulled over for it, she deserves the ticket. Overall pretty supportive.

So you don't hold your wife to the same standard of driving that you would hold your sister to? :think:

I rarely post in the general forums, but as a wife this post screamed out to me. Frankly, I don't expect to get out of a ticket because of what my husband does. If I am driving like an idiot and I get pulled over, then I fully expect to be written up for it. In my opinion, I should be even more cautious because I know what my husband does. Why would I want to give another officer a reason to pull me over and put his safety at stake on the side of the road? :confused:

Sorry for the temporary thread hijack!

[logartist]

Only your first dozen huh? Now, I'm not an officer (dispatcher), but I can say with quite a bit of confidence that that number will be FAR, FAR more than your 'first dozen or so'. It is a VERY dangerous job, and being out there on the highway is only more of a realization of that danger. You will spend your entire career with pieces of that feeling. Don't expect it to go as any other job you have ever had, where after the first few stops 'you get the hang of it'. Conditions will always change, every stop will always have different circumstances, and the danger is NEVER gone.

You have chosen a very great agency, with great training - best of luck to you!

Thank you for your concern & advice. Although, it was not my intention to imply that all fear would miraculously cease after any specific number of stops, or TCs, or any other experience. I respect the danger, and stated that I expect it to require a constant state of awareness; but I also have confidence in the training I will receive, and the knowledge & experience I will gain while serving with more experienced officers & superiors. I am sure there will be hair raising stops & other experiences years or decades into my career. Per haps I should have spelled that out. Thanks again.

[HallOfPromise]

Love the thread and the posts thus far. Great idea. :smile:

I myself haven't applied yet but have started telling my close loved ones about my chosen career path, the CHP. My girlfriend has been the most supportive, even being part in guiding me into pursuing this path. She pretty much told me to fallow my passion and do what I really wanted to do in this world. She told me not to let anyone get in the way and to just go for it. The part that really got to me was that she convinced me she would be by my side the entire way, even after telling her how dangerous of a job it truly is and that it definitely won't come easy by any means. She thought about it and still came back with the same response as before. I found this very meaningful and supportive, and made me a happier person just knowing I am finally going after my true passion.

My mom was just as supportive. She wasn't really surprised, as a matter of fact. She claims she knew this is what I've always wanted, recalling times in the past I would say such things as a kid or show such excitement when a police cruiser drove by. I don't remember getting that excited, but she insists. She did, however, express her concern about the dangers that come with the job, seeing how she has heard first hand stories by officers she's taught. (My mother used to teach local LEO correct methods in responding to and handling domestic abuse scenarios and she worked for a non-profit help center for domestic abuse victims.) She told me many scenarios where an officer thinks he/she is there to help the victim and, in return, be the victim themselves. I told her I understood and still wanted to do this. She wasn't surprised... again. Not sure if it means I am stubborn or committed. Nonetheless, it is good she supports my decision.

My sister is also happy about it and used the same lines as my mother saying she too also could have called it and remembered passed times. My girlfriend's parents are also very supportive, her mother being the most expressive about my decision and even getting "giddy" about it at times. It's good to know I have a few fans. :biggrin:

I haven't really told many other people. Those I have told, like my current general manager, seem to respond with the typical line that out of all the things I can do, they definitely see me as a chippy. This could be a good thing or a bad thing, :noidea: but I like to take it as the former.

All in all, my mom seemed to be the only one that showed her concern. Everyone else seems to be giving me a pat on the back or is supportive in nature, if not the whole nine-yards. The jumping for joy will be when I do apply and make it through the long process of getting hired.