Death, rant and a question

[zanev]

Death, we all know it is not a positive in life. I had to make a hard choice between my best friends funeral or my written test tomorrow. I hope my decision to reapply and take the test in March doesn't backfire on me...I hope I'm making the right decision.

To make this less of a rant, what are some of the hardest decisions you ever had to make in your life?

[HIPCHIP]

It hits us all differently, but hard. I passed on my grandmother's funeral because I was in school, and I knew she wouldn't want me to miss school. But basically I just couldn't handle it (death effects you differently when you've seen a lot of it), and I went to the grave a few days later where I could be alone with my thoughts.

You made a choice to go to your friends funeral, so you'll just have to take the written later. You'll still get to where you want. You can also take the written and visit your friends site later where you'll have more alone time to say your good-bye's.

[CAHPDist2X]

Things sometimes happen for a reason. Use the time between now and then to honor your friend by further preparing to be an Officer. Running, ride longs, studying, running, taking tests from other agencies, and running, will all give you an edge when you get there.
Good Luck

[AyatollahGondola]

Death, we all know it is not a positive in life

No, we don't actually know that. The pain or trauma associated with death may not be a positive, but since it accompanies the beginning of life also, we have to consider it might be a necessary evil of sorts for the time being.
You can look at it like this: Death is a metamorphasis as opposed to an end. You've been through others at your age. You've lost teeth, grown hair in places there wasn't before, and developed thought processes that have overtaken those that guided you in earlier stages of your life. You probably missed your baby teeth for some time, and if you had hair that's gone now you may miss that even more, but you can't feel either of them now that they're gone, and yet you still continue to develop mentally. The point is, in death you may just be shedding a whole body, but continuing to grow in another sense. Try not to set yourself up to where the fear of the inevitable is greater than the actual deed. You know how many here have said not to enter the academy with too many preconceived notions about how it will be, but rather keep an open mind and let the academy shape you? You might apply the same thought process to lifes' various stages.
Good luck, and sorry to hear about your friend.

[15KJ397A]

I can't believe I am writing this. First off, I am sorry for the loss of your best friend. I have known my best friend for 22 years and can't imagine him being gone.

The fact that you went to your friend's funeral rather than test with the only hiring LEA in CA is a testament to how important he was to you and how worth it he was. You are the guy we all want to have as a best friend. You have the quality we all look for. You are reliable and make tough choices for other people even though, at the time, it does not seem like that choice was in your best interest.

I am in no way agreeing with the AyatollaGondola.

My dad and I were not very close but I was there when he began to slip away. Cancer had made him into a fraction of the man he was. He was in pain, in and out of conciseness and a quality of life of ZERO.

When we turned off his O2 and watched him go, there was a positive in there somewhere.

My uncle Johnnie Parino pinned my badge on me in 1998. He and I were close and as a DMV commander, he still had to get a string pulled to make it happen. He had border line uncontrollable diabetes. He contracted the swine flu and then got pneumonia. His kidneys shut down and the doctors opted to place him in a coma so his body could rest. After 28 days, they stopped giving him the coma drugs and removed all of the hospital machines that were helping him live while he was comatose. He never came out of the coma. A few days later he flat-lined but they brought him back. He slowly declined and passed away on 11-3-09. As sad and as bad as it was, he is in a better place.

I know sometimes people just want to be heard. Sometimes people want to share. I hope you see my post as sharing and eventually you find some kind of comfort despite your friend being gone.

Hang in there and good luck in March,

Jim

[zanev]

I can't believe I am writing this. First off, I am sorry for the loss of your best friend. I have known my best friend for 22 years and can't imagine him being gone.

The fact that you went to your friend's funeral rather than test with the only hiring LEA in CA is a testament to how important he was to you and how worth it he was. You are the guy we all want to have as a best friend. You have the quality we all look for. You are reliable and make tough choices for other people even though, at the time, it does not seem like that choice was in your best interest.

I am in no way agreeing with the AyatollaGondola.

My dad and I were not very close but I was there when he began to slip away. Cancer had made him into a fraction of the man he was. He was in pain, in and out of conciseness and a quality of life of ZERO.

When we turned off his O2 and watched him go, there was a positive in there somewhere.

My uncle Johnnie Parino pinned my badge on me in 1998. He and I were close and as a DMV commander, he still had to get a string pulled to make it happen. He had border line uncontrollable diabetes. He contracted the swine flu and then got pneumonia. His kidneys shut down and the doctors opted to place him in a coma so his body could rest. After 28 days, they stopped giving him the coma drugs and removed all of the hospital machines that were helping him live while he was comatose. He never came out of the coma. A few days later he flat-lined but they brought him back. He slowly declined and passed away on 11-3-09. As sad and as bad as it was, he is in a better place.

I know sometimes people just want to be heard. Sometimes people want to share. I hope you see my post as sharing and eventually you find some kind of comfort despite your friend being gone.

Hang in there and good luck in March,

Jim

Thank you all for your support, and unless the CHP stops hiring between now and March I still have a chance to for fill a dream of being a police officer. I have no regrets for missing my written test, as I think I'd feel worse today if I missed it. Not to get too spiritual, but maybe this happened for a reason and maybe taking the test in March might be better for me as it does give me about five months to 1) Get in shape and 2) Get my mind in shape, as the written is the first step in a long journey.

Again thank you all for your kind words.

[LadyVol@330]

Should you never have any regrets about the choice you made. You very well may have greatly affected another loved one or member of your friend's family in a way you will never know. It took selflessness and compassion for you to make your decision --traits that will be very valuable to the CHP when you join their ranks. I send my sympathy to you in your tremendous loss. I believe that your friend knows the sacrifice you made for those he loved.

[AyatollahGondola]

I am in no way agreeing with the AyatollaGondola.
Jim

It sure looks like you were though:noidea:

[SB 405]

It sure looks like you were though:noidea:

Just let it go.

[HAZLEWOOD]

We go through life losing the ones we love only to find that we create knew ones. My father was killed in a hit and run when I was eight years old and I went through life hating that person only to realize it didn't make anything better. That person has to live with what they did for the rest of their life. The outcome, if he was still alive I wouldn't be where I am today... with my beautiful wife and kids, etc. I watched my uncle pass away last month from a brain tumor and yes it hurts to see him go, but we got to step back and look. The things they have all done, the lives they have touched. For every life lost a knew one is born. Life happens for a reason we just need to find the best in it. Im sorry for your loss, your friend will still live on through you.