How to beat a Deuce!

[cdawg21]

I've heard from so many people over the years their "foolproof" methods for beating a DUI. Most of them really crack me up. Here's the that cracks me up the most. Mind you, this method came from a Sergeant of mine in the Marine Corps, and seems to follow the thought process of many of my brother Marines (that is: no common sense). As the old Sgt. told my platoon one day, if you ever get pulled over by the cops and you're drunk, just run. Pull over quick, jump out, and start running. By the time the officer's catch you, they'll be too pumped from the chase to worry about the ETOH and they'll just bust you for running.

As a side note, later that year I was on duty and called to pick up one of my Marines from the local Washington State Patrol office. He was charged with DUI and evading arrest...apparently this technique didn't work so well.

I've heard other laughable methods, but I'm interested in hearing what everyone else has heard.

[HwyChaser]

If you run, you are going to piss the pursuing officer off. Believe me, he will charge you with everything he can find. I have found charges that I didn?t even know existed. So no, running does not work.

There is no secret way to beat a DUI. Some rumors went around years ago that ZIMA could not be detected. That was defiantly an urban legend. Also, Gum, cigarettes and inhaling while attempting to take the intoxilizer test don?t work. It seems like every deuce that I pull over is chewing on gum or smoking a cigarette. That is the first clue that they are trying to hide the odor on their breath.

[SB 405]

I tasted ZIMA once and hey,it needs all the help it can get to make it more popular.

[Radar]

Run and you will only go to jail TIRED...;)

I've seen the "penny-in-the-mouth" trick tried more than once...:lol:

[makakona]

http://www.snopes.com/autos/law/breath.asp (http://www.snopes.com/autos/law/breath.asp)

[Erin]

This is disgusting, but we had an ongoing joke at the last place I worked about having a "wine enema" for lunch. The idea is pretty basic, you just send the alcohol to your system via the back door. It was supposed to eliminate the odor on your breath giveaway.

[dw]

http://www.snopes.com/autos/law/breath.asp (http://www.snopes.com/autos/law/breath.asp)

MythBusters did this as well.

[Your Mentor]

Erin,
I taught DUI at the Academy and covered the 'Butt Bomb' method of alcohol ingestion. It's used by S&M practitioners, as well as some fraternities, as a means of humiliation and sexual gratification. Because of the vascular nature of the organs involved, the alcohol is absorbed remarkably fast. Interestingly, the beverages that provide the strongest breath odor are also the ones with the least amount of alcohol. The odor most trained and experienced officers detect, is NOT the beverage but the byproducts of alcohol metabolism. As such, a person who has engaged in this repulsive practice, will still give off breath odor, as well as the usuals objective signs and symptoms. This is because alcohol metabolites are excreted through the urine, pores, and lungs; regardless of how the alcohol was ingested. Once it's in the blood, it has to be metabolized through the liver and that system doesn't know or care how it got in the blood. (alcohol metabolizm alone is an interesting topic)

On a related note, juveniles in England have recently resorted to intravenous injection of hard liquor. This is common among intravenous drug users when they can't obtain their drug of choice. The ritual of injection is as important to these individuals as the drug. Injecting liquor, however, can lead to a rapid loss of consciousness and the risk of a stroke.

Cool stuff.
YM.

PS - The only Mythbuster urban legend that has credence is the use of mouth wash. It will screw up a breath test but provided the officer follows Title 17 and monitors the subject for at least 15 minutes before the breath test, it's not an issue. This was also demonstrated on Mythbusters. Many officers are not aware that certain denture creams will also have the same effect.

[gorkha shakti]

My employer hired a guy few months back. This guy is new to CA and recently got his DL. His driving did not impress me at all. As some friendly advise, I told him to be a little more attentive to his driving.

A couple of weeks after our conversation, he gets his first ticket for running a red light. So, he asks me if he should fight the ticket and I advised him it is his choice and his options are listed on the notice from the court. Anyways, he ended up paying the fine and enrolled in the driving school. Few weeks down the road during one of our company lunches, driving under the influence conversation stirs up. This same fella, suggested that if after having couple of drinks one were to chew on Cardamoms and Cloves, not only will it kill the alcohol breath, but also assists in lowering the blood alcohol level. I dismissed all of his rhetoric.

After the lunch I advised him, just don?t drink and drive, but feel free to use all the Cardamoms and Cloves you want for COOKING. I believe that same weekend he gets pulled over by the CHP and is charged with driving under the influence and 273A.

Thanks
GS

[SB 405]

Didn't this person have to take a driving test to obtain a DL in California? I would think his poor driving skills would be obvious and he wouldn't pass.

[Kevin]

Didn't this person have to take a driving test to obtain a DL in California? I would think his poor driving skills would be obvious and he wouldn't pass.

This is the People's Republic of Kalifornia, DL's are given out as fast as hotcakes! Bad credit? no credit? criminal history? no green card? can not/would not read English? Stop by your local DMV office. No one is turned down. :rolleyes:

[SB 405]

I always thought if someone moved to this state and wanted a DL a driving test was part of the process...guess I'm wrong. I mean it's not like this dude was driving a few miles over the speed limit,he's blowin' red tri lights for cryin' out loud.

[gorkha shakti]

Well, this guy is well educated (Masters in Comp. Sciene), no bad credit, entered the USA legally, and etc. But lack of common sense seems to be an issue. Btw, he did fail his first driving test...no surprise there.

Thanks
GS

[Mac]

...I've seen the "penny-in-the-mouth" trick tried more than once...:lol:
Same here. I don't know where people get these "voodoo" ideas. ETOH is ETOH - once it's in your system, you can't mask it or make it go away.

PS - The only Mythbuster urban legend that has credence is the use of mouth wash. It will screw up a breath test but provided the officer follows Title 17 and monitors the subject for at least 15 minutes before the breath test, it's not an issue.
Binaca and other liquids/sprays containing alcohol will do it also - but the results are VERY short-lived....as in less than a minute before the "mouth alcohol" dissipates. If you take a breath sample immediately after spraying Binaca or some such in your mouth, it can be up in the .60% range - but a minute or two later, it will be back to .00% (assuming you've ingested no other alcohol prior). Don't ask me how I know this. ;)

The 100% fool-proof best way to beat a DUI arrest is no secret: Don't drink and drive in the first place.

[RoadDawg]

A 100% sure way to beat a DEUCE...


Dont drive after youve been drinking!!!!!!!!!! Seems pretty simple to me!

[5-0]

How to beat a Deuce!
we use to do it with our streamlights but the trng ofcr got mad too many streamlights were breaking, so i carry a phone book, the thickest i can find.:badgrin:

[Capsicum]

I've seen the "penny-in-the-mouth" trick tried more than once...:lol:

Had a deuce that aparently couldn't find a penny, so she was caught sucking on a quarter. Should have seen the look on her face when I still hooked her up. I then let her know that the myth was with a penny and that using a quarter wouldn't work 25 times better. She claimed that she just sucked on it to keep her awake.

[lico]

i hooked a duece with a quarter in his mouth once....asked him if he usually kept dirty change in his mouth...he just looked at the ground...:lol:

Run and you will only go to jail TIRED...;)

I've seen the "penny-in-the-mouth" trick tried more than once...:lol:

[quaylie]

Well, this guy is well educated (Masters in Comp. Sciene), no bad credit, entered the USA legally, and etc. But lack of common sense seems to be an issue. Btw, he did fail his first driving test...no surprise there.

Thanks
GS

Somebody has the quote on here and it's my favorite quote i've read.

Common sense is the least common of all the senses. Very true.

[CHIPY55]

My employer hired a guy few months back. This guy is new to CA and recently got his DL. His driving did not impress me at all. As some friendly advise, I told him to be a little more attentive to his driving.

A couple of weeks after our conversation, he gets his first ticket for running a red light. So, he asks me if he should fight the ticket and I advised him it is his choice and his options are listed on the notice from the court. Anyways, he ended up paying the fine and enrolled in the driving school. Few weeks down the road during one of our company lunches, driving under the influence conversation stirs up. This same fella, suggested that if after having couple of drinks one were to chew on Cardamoms and Cloves, not only will it kill the alcohol breath, but also assists in lowering the blood alcohol level. I dismissed all of his rhetoric.

After the lunch I advised him, just don?t drink and drive, but feel free to use all the Cardamoms and Cloves you want for COOKING. I believe that same weekend he gets pulled over by the CHP and is charged with driving under the influence and 273A.

Thanks
GS
:doh::doh::doh:

[LadyVol@330]

Pulled this off Google --I thought some of you might find this entertaining! :lol:

http://www.los-angeles-dui-lawyers.com/dui-myths.html (http://www.los-angeles-dui-lawyers.com/dui-myths.html)

[IrishJoe]

Pulled this off Google --I thought some of you might find this entertaining! :lol:

http://www.los-angeles-dui-lawyers.com/dui-myths.html (http://www.los-angeles-dui-lawyers.com/dui-myths.html)


shoot, I wish my deuces would read that....maybe they'd argue less

[Mac]

Pulled this off Google --I thought some of you might find this entertaining! :lol:

http://www.los-angeles-dui-lawyers.com/dui-myths.html (http://www.los-angeles-dui-lawyers.com/dui-myths.html)
There's some slightly erroneous information there - but at least they're taking a sensible approach to DUI and strongly discouraging it.

[rusty57]

I can just imagine that if you find yourself in this situation, you may not have enough wits to remember any of this garbage. If you are going to assume the risk of drinking and driving, you have to be ready to assume the responsibility and face the consequences. Unfortunately, getting caught was not part of the plan and things usually don't go good from there. There are so many resources out there to get home safely after a night of drinking, but alcohol clouds judgment and people will probably continue to put others at risk by violating the law until every car is outfitted with a passive device of some sort.

[Sack]

I have heard that if you "go cross-eyed" while following the officers pen you will pass, but even then that is only one FST.

[iakona]

I have heard that if you "go cross-eyed" while following the officers pen you will pass, but even then that is only one FST.

Don't believe everything you've heard.

[Mac]

Don't believe everything you've heard.
Isn't it amazing, the ridiculous anecdotes that get passed around? :rolleyes:

[Reader]

Here's a funny one..... I have heard that if you have a BAC of .000 and are free of the effects of legal and illegal drugs......you might pass the FST!!!! :shock::tape:

How amazing is that ????:doh:

[alexfarrington]

I have heard that if you "go cross-eyed" while following the officers pen you will pass, but even then that is only one FST.

If people took a tenth of the energy they waste on scheming to get out of DUIs and used it to figure out a way to just do the right thing (have a DD, get a taxi, ride the bus, quit drinking), then the roads'd be a whole lot safer, and, well... um... hmm.

Wait a sec -- I guess I shouldn't expect people to be mature and responsible. Stupid me.

On a related note, though, if you tell the officer that Large Marge sent you, he is legally compelled to give you a free pass on the DUI. The officer will then drive you to the nearest truck stop for a burger and a shake, while a tow truck takes your vehicle to the place of your choosing. Provided that they're available, Air Ops will then give you a helicopter ride home.

Additionally, if you say "LA, 7 Mary 3, code 4 on the pursuit" within three seconds of the officer's first contact with you, the State will provide you with a stretch limo and a chauffeur for your next three nights of partying. Larry Wilcox himself is contractually obligated to do chauffeur duty at least 19 days every quarter.

The Department of Justice has reported that laminating a regular Get Out of Jail card from a Monopoly game has also been reported to work 93.7% of the time. For your convenience, you can just print this one.

http://i.zdnet.com/blogs/monopoly-get-out-of-jail-free-card.jpg (http://i.zdnet.com/blogs/monopoly-get-out-of-jail-free-card.jpg)

:rolleyes:

[jrsfan]

If people took a tenth of the energy they waste on scheming to get out of DUIs and used it to figure out a way to just do the right thing (have a DD, get a taxi, ride the bus, quit drinking), then the roads'd be a whole lot safer, and, well... um... hmm.

Wait a sec -- I guess I shouldn't expect people to be mature and responsible. Stupid me.

On a related note, though, if you tell the officer that Large Marge sent you, he is legally obligated to give you a free pass on the DUI. The officer will then drive you to the nearest truck stop for a burger and a shake, while a tow truck takes your vehicle to the place of your choosing. Provided that they're available, Air Ops will then give you a helicopter ride home.

Additionally, if you say "LA, 7 Mary 3, code 4 on the pursuit" within three seconds of the officer's first contact with you, the State will provide you with a stretch limo and a chauffeur for your next three nights of partying. Larry Wilcox himself is contractually obligated to do chauffeur duty at least 19 days every quarter.

The Department of Justice has reported that laminating a regular Get Out of Jail card from a Monopoly games has also been reported to work 93.7% of the time. For your convenience, you can just print this one.

http://i.zdnet.com/blogs/monopoly-get-out-of-jail-free-card.jpg (http://i.zdnet.com/blogs/monopoly-get-out-of-jail-free-card.jpg)

:rolleyes:

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol: Gosh, I needed that today. Thanks!

[rusty57]

Participated on another ride along last weekend. Got to watch the Officer perfrom his duties on 2 DUIs. One hit a .21 on the PASS and the other was a 16 year old kid high on marijuana. Kid said to the Officer," I know the deal, just give me the ticket for weed and i'll be on my way". The look on his face when the cuffs went on was priceless. Kid wanted to be given "a break". No thank you. Stay safe.

[CivvieInNY]

I saw a guy beat a DWI once.


Oh, wait. By "beat" you mean get out of??


Oh, then never mind.



:badgrin:

[UncleSam]

Driving drunk is the Number One way to quickly attain the status of jagoff. Walk, run, bum a ride or sleep at the bar/house/woods, whatever. Back in the day, a DUI was no big deal. Now it will cost you thousands and will follow you for a long time. How can you ever be able to hold a position of resposibily and trust when you can't even make that simple decision?

America should adopt the Middle Eastern policies on DUI....First offense is a PUBLIC bull whipping!! I have personally witnessed this! What a deterrent! Some countries, it is death.

That would solve our prison problem in about 15 minutes; but the CHP wouldn't be hiring either!

Peace; and Piece (.40 cal) be with you, always.

[gabriel]

Peace; and Piece (.40 cal) be with you, always.

lol

[Mac]

America should adopt the Middle Eastern policies...
Don't worry, it'll probably happen within the next 3 years and 6 months. :think:

[CHPUSMC]

Don't worry, it'll probably happen within the next 3 years and 6 months. :think:


I see someone else is counting. :biggrin:

[Broham]

1,410 days left!

:sad: