Police Humor

[Chippysgt]

I thought the only cops who could run 50 mph were recent academy graduates and officers being pursued by their girlfriend's husband..............................BTW, I did not type it all caps, I just cut and pasted so don't scold me.

POLICE HUMOR - WYOMING STATE POLICE - GOTTA LOVE 'EM!!!!!

IN MOST OF THE NORTHERN STATES, THERE IS A POLICY OF CHECKING ON ANY STALLED VEHICLE ON THE HIGHWAY WHEN THE TEMPERATURES DROP DOWN TO THE SINGLE DIGITS OR BELOW.

ABOUT 3 A.M. ONE VERY COLD MORNING IN MARCH 2004, A STATE POLICE OFFICER RESPONDED TO A CALL: THERE WAS A CAR OFF THE SHOULDER OF THE ROAD ON THE OUTSKIRTS OF CASPER. HE LOCATED THE CAR, STUCK IN DEEP SNOW AND WITH THE ENGINE STILL RUNNING.

PULLING IN BEHIND THE CAR WITH HIS EMERGENCY LIGHTS ON, THE OFFICER WALKED TO THE DRIVER'S DOOR TO FIND AN OLDER MAN PASSED OUT BEHIND THE WHEEL WITH A NEARLY EMPTY VODKA BOTTLE ON THE SEAT BESIDE HIM.

THE DRIVER CAME AWAKE WHEN THE OFFICER TAPPED ON THE WINDOW. SEEING THE ROTATING LIGHTS IN HIS REAR VIEW MIRROR AND THE STATE POLICEMAND STANDING NEXT TO HIS CAR, THE MAN PANICKED, JERKED THE GEARSHIFT INTO "DRIVE" AND HIT THE GAS. THE CAR'S SPEEDOMOTER WAS SHOWING 20-30-40 AND THEN 50 MPH, BUT IT WAS STILL STUCK IN THE SNOW, WHEELS SPINNING.

THE POLICEMAN, HAVING A SENSE OF HUMOR, BEGAN RUNNING IN PLACE NEXT TO THE SPEEDING, BUT
STILL STATIONARY, CAR.

THE DRIVER WAS TOTALLY FREAKED THINKING THE OFFICER WAS ACTUALLY KEEPING UP WITH HIM.

THIS GOES ON FOR ABOUT 30 SECONDS WHEN THE PATROLMAN YELLED AT THE MAN ORDERING HIM TO "PULL OVER!" THE MAN OBEYED, TURNED HIS WHEEL AND STOPPED THE ENGINE.

NEEDLESS TO SAY, THE MAN FROM CASPER WAS ARRESTED AND IS PROBABLY STILL SHAKING HIS HEAD OVER THE STATE PATROLMAN WHO COULD RUN 50 MILES PER HOUR.

WHO SAYS POLICEMAN DON'T HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR?

[SuperTrooper]

Is that really a true story? :shock:

[Cameron]

I've read this story before on some LE news site... I'm thinking it's the real deal. Which is great, because the story is hilarious.

[Chippysgt]

Well, it was posted strickly for humor:biggrin: However, the statute of limitations is up so I will tell you that this is not a new story. The scenario, as a joke, has been circulating since I was stopping drunks on the Yolo Causeway back in the 70s (actually just off the causeway. Very unsafe to make a stop on the causeway). I will also confess that I seem to remember banging on a sleeping drunks window and jogging along side yelling for him to hit the brakes. What happened after that is a blur.............blame it on my aging grey matter. But I seem to remember someone going to jail but I can't recall if it was for 23102a or 647f??????

Cheers and keep on grinnin'

:cool:

[Mac]

Well, it was posted strickly for humor:biggrin: However, the statute of limitations is up so I will tell you that this is not a new story....
Ditto. I've, uhhhhhhh, HEARD of an officer that did it a couple times in the 80's also. Only ever gotten one deuce to "bite" on it, but the results were hilarious....or so I've "allegedly" heard! :badgrin:

[Cameron]

Oh, no way. You two have actually done... er, HEARD of Officers doing this?

And Chippy Sgt, on the causeway no less? That's crazy! I've never seen a vehicle stop on the causeway.

[TheForceCHP]

another thing to look forward to as an officer, uhh, i mean looking forward to hearing more about :lol:

[Slim]

A friend of mine who was a New Mexico trooper in the late 70's told me he pulled up behind a running vehicle, parked along the side of the road. He checked on the driver and saw he was sleeping/passed out. He knocked on the window and said to the occupant, "What you doing?" the driver responded, " 55 ?? " He was drunk.

[SB 405]

This isn't Police humor but still pretty funny.....


"In what aisle could I find the Polish sausage?"

The clerk looks at him and says, "Are you Polish?"
The guy, (clearly offended) says, "Well, yes I am. But let me ask you
something, if I had asked for Italian sausage would you ask me if I was Italian?

Or if I had asked for German bratwurst, would you ask me if I was
German?

Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish?

Or if I had asked for a Taco would you ask if I was Mexican? Would
ya, huh? Would ya?"

The clerk says, "Well, no!"

If I asked for some Irish whiskey, would you ask if I was Irish?"

Well, I probably wouldn't!"

With deep self-righteous indignation, the guy says,
"Well then why did you ask me if I'm Polish
because I ask for Polish sausage?"

The clerk replies, "Because you're at Home Depot?

[Chippysgt]

Some retired deputy sheriffs went to a retreat in the mountains. To save money, they decided to sleep two to a room.

No one wanted to room with Daryl because he snored so badly. They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns.

The first deputy slept with Daryl and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot. They asked, "Man, what happened to you?"

He replied, "Daryl snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night."

The next night it was a different deputy's turn. In the morning, same thing--hair all standing up, eyes all blood-shot.

They asked, "Man, what happened to you? You look awful!"

He answered, "Man, that Daryl shakes the roof, so I sat up and watched him all night."

The third night was Frank's turn. Frank was a big burly ex-football player; a man's man. The next morning he came to breakfast bright eyed and bushy tailed. "Good morning."

They couldn't believe it! They said, "Man, what happened?"

He said, "Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked Daryl into bed and kissed him good night. He sat up and watched me all night long."

[Chad]

Is that really a true story? :shock:

I actually have done this without the snow. The car was in park but the guy thought that it was in drive. I was working South LA. 3am. Right shoulder of the Harbor Fwy 110. My out. My graveyard partner standing back at the patrol car. The guy was asleep at the wheel and I knocked on the window on the passenger side. The guy wakes up after about 30 seconds of me pounding on the window. He sees me and puts his left hand on the steering wheel and his right hand on the gear shift in the center counsol. It was not stick but the gears were where the stick shift is. He had the dear in the headlights look and started stepping on the gas as if he was going to go somewhere. The car was in park though. Instantly I started running in place right next to him and yelling at him to pull the car over. He looked over at me and started nodding like he got what I was saying and was going to comply. He took his foot off of the gas and stepped on the brakes. I stopped running in place and acted as if I was out of breath. I immediately tapped on the window and asked him to roll it down which he immediately complied with.

I asked this gentlemen to step out of the car and meet me on the right side. When I asked him if he knew why I pulled him over he replied, "For my speed?" No joke. When I told him that I did no such thing he stated that I certainly did pull him over because he remembered the red lights. It took about 10 minutes to convince the guy that I couldn't run 50 mph next to him to pull him over. Once reality sunk in he was really embarrassed. Nevertheless, I took him to LAPD SouthEast for 23152.

This story has given me a never ending party telling story and lots of laughs. I never heard it told before and wouldn't have thought much about it except that I was just looking for a cop joke to tell at a retired Chippies funeral and figured I'd check here when I stumbled upon this story. Mine happened in 1999 so obviously I'm not the only one who has done it as some of these stories seem to be much older. But it was a good chuckle.