Living a law enforcement lifestyle

[ExplorerSGT]

Before you guys became peace officers did you already live the lifestlye?, maybe im just a straight edge but im not even a cop and i know most of the PC's and VC's, i dont smoke or drink. Hopefully this dedication will help me out in the long run. My advisors have always told me that being a police officer is not a career but i lifestlye. Is that how it should be?.

[dw]

Not at all. I graduated college and started the Academy three months later. I didn't know a thing about law or law enforcement. (My degree is in physical sciences.) I've never smoked, but I don't attribute that necessarily to a cop-lifestyle. I've always been pretty clean-cut, but prior to my junior year in college, I never seriously considered law enforcement. And the CHP was the only Department I ever considered.

It is a lifestyle and it's not. You're a sworn peace officer twenty-four hours a day and must act accordingly. You represent your department both on and off duty. But being able to separate work from your personal life is important and some officers have trouble leaving work at the office. You need to remember that although you scraped two bodies off the road during your shift, and everyone at work can relate to the experience, said daily activities may not be appropriate for dinner conversation with the wife and kids. Just you become a cop doesn't mean everyone in your social network does. Some guys become more demanding at home. Again, just because you spend your day directing people doesn't mean it becomes acceptable at home.

You'll find when cops hang out with one another, they tend to speak almost exclusively of work. I make a conscious effort when out in mixed (cop / non-cop) company to avoid talking about work. Most people are interested in what we do, but telling war stories for two hours during dinner gets old quickly.

[SB 405]

Same thing with Firemen dw. My brother -in- law who's a Captain with the Fire Department does the same thing when he's hangin' with his Fireman buddies. To be honest it get's a little old because I've never once heard these guys talk about a current event,sports etc..One would think these guys get enough to chat about at the station but they just can't seem to turn it off outside of work.

[dw]

My point, exactly.

[Mac]

Great post, DW. It is and isn't a lifestyle. You do have to be conscious of what you say and do, knowing that you represent the Department and the job in general to people who know what you do, but that doesn't mean you have to 'be a cop' twenty-four hours a day. I have a lot of outside hobbies, and am pretty good about leaving work at work. A lot of my friends that I associate with off-duty are cops, and while work-related stuff does sneak into the conversations, it certainly doesn't dominate them. It is sometimes most difficult with civilian friends, because they often really want to hear war stories and are fascinated to get an inside glimpse of the job....when it's often the last thing you want to talk about.

ExplorerSGT - there's nothing wrong with keeping your nose clean, being clean-cut and working toward your goal....in fact, it will certainly help your chances when you go into your BI and don't have to talk about getting drunk or smoking weed the week before! But be careful not to cross that fine line and get a "wannabe" mentality, because that can work against you also. Give it 100% when you're doing your Explorer duties and learn all you can, but leave it at the office when you go home.

[Your Mentor]

Okay, I won't say I'm dissenting but I will say I have a different perspective. I've only done off-duty stuff with a couple of chippies and the conversation almost never vears toward the job. Even today, if I call a CHP friend to touch base, the work discussion amounts to about 30 seconds in the conversation. I was into rock climbing years ago and climbed a lot with another instructor at the Academy. We were too focused on climbing to talk about much else. Even at work we talked about our next climbing trips at every break. Outside of that most of my friends have nothing to do with law enforcement. Even on graveyards with the same partner for a few years, we spent most of our patrol time talking about what new home entertainment equipment was in the Crutchfield catalogue or what kind of sprinkler heads he was about to install for a landscape project. Off duty we had family BBQ's at least twice a month and the discussion never veared toward work. In fact, we used to go to coffee at a Chevron in Bishop every night (right out of the shoot like a good chippy) and this very young and zealous deputy would show up within minutes of hearing us go 10-7. He'd immediately start in, like a puppy about to piddle himself, and talk about all the things he had already done that night on the job. He talked the talk and was so consummed with the job it was almost unbearable. The only thing that was annoying is that Dave and I wanted to talk about home remodeling projects, our kid's school sports performance, or some new toy we'd aquired.

Being a cop can be overwhelmingly self-defining and consumming. That can, if you let it, destroy your off duty life. Look at our rate of divorce; I'm going through #4, our rate of suicide, and our rate of alcohol abuse. I love this job but do my damnest to keep it a job. I was raised by a cop and he is more into golf, his house, his wife, and his family than he is into being a cop. Yet he is a very good cop.

Mac is right ExplorerSGT, keeping your nose clean is admirable and impressive to some but the BI would be unethical to DQ someone if they smoked or admitted to drinking occassionally. We have plenty of smokers on the department and very few non-drinkers (I have a few friends who don't drink because of their religious beliefs and upbringing). What's important is keeping your nose clean from a legal and financial standpoint. Looking too clean raises suspicious eyebrows with some cops. You need to just be comfortable in your own shoes and let that show when you talk to your BI. Be proud of who you are, that's for sure.

As for knowing the laws before you even enter the Academy? Just be careful when you get into the Academy. You'll look like a know-it-all if you start throwing your hand in the air at every chance and there will always be prior LEO's in your class. Most of use rarely, and the other officers can chime in if they agree or disagree, think about laws and such when we're off. Sure, I've been passed over double yellows off-duty and used to get really bent out of shape. Not anymore. If I suspect someone is deuce I'll call it in but otherwise I just let it go and get back to being off. You'll be saturated in everything CHP as a cadet and during your rooky year. After that you'd do well to get a hobby and treat your loved ones like loved ones, not suspects. My personal experience anyway.

[SB 405]

Your lucky then Mentor. My brother-in-laws BBQ's are more like the Firemen are all hanging out in the kitchen drinking beer and talkin' shop while the wives and kids are all in the back yard talking about the kids school,family etc...I've been to at least a dozen events at his house and it's always the same.

[Your Mentor]

At first you have to make a conscious effort to talk about 'civilian' things. Eventually the shop talk just fades away into the background and only comes up if there's a serious problem with someone or something.

I just realized something; this is ALL shop talk. But what a healthy way to get it out and share it!

[SB 405]

Or just do what I do,sneak out the back door and go play with the kids...it's more fun!

[dw]

I just realized something; this is ALL shop talk. But what a healthy way to get it out and share it!

I'm glad you said it, because I was just going to make that point! ;)

[kaos455]

Another good reason for keeping up a good personal life that doesnt include the job is what if you get injured on the job (god forbid) and have to leave the Dept. Keep non-cop friends, dont let it envelope you.

[PeckerHead]

As for knowing the laws before you even enter the Academy? Just be careful when you get into the Academy. You'll look like a know-it-all if you start throwing your hand in the air at every chance and there will always be prior LEO's in your class.

Weren't they called "Springers?"

[Flying Pig]

Definitely get and maintain friends that have nothing to do with law enforcement. I found it to really help out with the us vs. them mentality some cops develope.

[CHPwannaBE]

One of my CJ professors said it is good to have friends outside of LE because if you only hang out with LEO you will have the mentality that everyone is a criminal or "second class citizens" something along those lines. I can understand where he is coming from.

[frwycop]

I THINK I like my job, but the only person that can't stop nagging about it is my wife. I have no idea why. :noidea:

Maybe it has to do something about my motor boots that keep scratching her legs every night or the fact that she can't kiss me good night because of the helmet gets in her way, but besides that, we get along pretty good. :think:

[lizmagana]

you'd do well to get a hobby and treat your loved ones like loved ones, not suspects. My personal experience anyway.


I love that little quote! Even now (before some of us get to be CHP Officers) I think that is usefull in all of our lives.

Kudos!

[Cynic]

If you make it your lifestyle, you will become a statistic. You better just make it a job if you are going to survive.

[Jeff Rhea]

I concur with most posts here.

As for not smoking and not drinking, not a bad idea I suppose, if you don't like smoking and drinking. On the other hand, I enjoy a good cigar, a good cup of coffee (sometimes at the same time), a good whiskey, a good brandy, and a good wine. There is nothing wrong with using tobacco and alcohol as long as they are used in moderation. They too contribute to a "lifestyle".

Good advice all around about keeping non-cop friends and limiting the war stories.

The bigger issues cops face have more to do with who we are than what we do. My concern with someone who is trying to live a "perfect" life is what it says about their psycology. We do not live in a perfect world and trying to make it so will only lead to stress. Chronic stress leads to personal relationship problems, which cause more stress.

One of the best pieces of advice I got early on was to not commute in uniform. Take the uniform off at the end of the day and leave it, and the job, at work. As a pillar of your community, every once in a while you will find yourself in a position to do something, and you should. Yesterday I helped drag a passed out drunk out of the center divider of a busy boulevard. Then I called the local cops and left.

[Cynic]

I think Kelly's post should be printed and handed out to everybody that becomes a LE officer.