Improving the Family Forums

[dw]

I would like to solicit ideas about ways to improve the family forums. If you could make any change(s), what would it/they be?

Something requested in the past has been to make a private section for families similar to the Chippies Only section. I'm still not convinced that is somewhere I want to go, but feel free to argue the point.

[JCH]

How bout a "cadet only" section! :biggrin::lol:

[TheForceCHP]

How bout a "cadet only" section! :biggrin::lol:

Sounds like a good idea DW.... make the moderators the Staff Office :badgrin::badgrin::badgrin:

[JCH]

Sounds like a good idea DW.... make the moderators the Staff Office :badgrin::badgrin::badgrin:

Uh oh! :tape::doh:

[Eagl5]

Must.....keep....mouth....shut:tape::tape::tape:

[BunnyHunter]

I would like to solicit ideas about ways to improve the family forums. If you could make any change(s), what would it/they be?

Something requested in the past has been to make a private section for families similar to the Chippies Only section. I'm still not convinced that is somewhere I want to go, but feel free to argue the point.

Thanks DW for all your hard work and looking to us for ways to improve things for us.

Speaking from a Cadet SO's point of view:

I think that a private area would be nice but I don't see it as being very possible. It would be difficult for you to keep up on. You do a great job keeping the board in line (as much as you can), and having to deal with approving family members would take too much time.

The reason some don't post much on here is because of the responses they know that come along with it. There are several spouses who have become "super human" once their significant other graduates the academy and sometimes their just down right mean(replying in messages). I have received messages from people on here that just want to talk to somebody about the experiences get support and answers but are afraid to post in fear of what replies they will get.

Another thing is spouses don't want to post too much because we are aware that Staff Office, Background Investigators, etc browse this site. I think that kind of deters people from posting. We don't want to put more on them(our Cadets) than their already going through.

Ya, I know I'm bouncing all over. I'm sorry it's past my bed time. I just wanted to put in my .02.

Goodnight All!

[Jeff Rhea]

Your best bet for an honest answer delivered with kindness is to PM someone who's posts you appreciate. You may just be suprised by the personal response you get.

Just my two bits.

[OfficerWife]

I can only speak as a wife (or significant other), but I agree with HopefulSo. A lot of us do not post here because we don't want to get our cadets into trouble. It is for that reason that I *try* not too post too much on here (okay, sometimes my keyboard gets the best of me, but I do try :wink:). Hubby doesn't need a staff officer yelling at him because his know-it-all wife said something on this forum.

Having said that, the wives do have a (gasp!) private MySpace page that we do have discussions on. It has really been a great resource for me personally and a great way to meet (and not just "virtually") some really great women. I know how you feel about MySpace DW, but for that purpose it really has been a great resource. As far as the Family Forum here, I wouldn't take on the headache of making it private like the Chippy Forum. I think it is good for general questions and brief conversation, but doesn't need to be another private area.

Oh! And if there are any new CTC-II-08 wives on here that would like to join the MySpace group, please PM me.

[bcjack]

Your best bet for an honest answer delivered with kindness is to PM someone who's posts you appreciate. You may just be suprised by the personal response you get.

Just my two bits.

I can attest to that. I have received several very complimentary PM's during the time I have been here.

[jrsfan]

I can only speak as a wife (or significant other), but I agree with HopefulSo. A lot of us do not post here because we don't want to get our cadets into trouble. It is for that reason that I *try* not too post too much on here (okay, sometimes my keyboard gets the best of me, but I do try :wink:). Hubby doesn't need a staff officer yelling at him because his know-it-all wife said something on this forum.

Having said that, the wives do have a (gasp!) private MySpace page that we do have discussions on. It has really been a great resource for me personally and a great way to meet (and not just "virtually") some really great women. I know how you feel about MySpace DW, but for that purpose it really has been a great resource. As far as the Family Forum here, I wouldn't take on the headache of making it private like the Chippy Forum. I think it is good for general questions and brief conversation, but doesn't need to be another private area.

I second all of that.

[makakona]

The reason some don't post much on here is because of the responses they know that come along with it. There are several spouses who have become "super human" once their significant other graduates the academy and sometimes their just down right mean(replying in messages).

so, the other day, i logged on for the first time in, um, forEVER, just to reply to this... then i had to sit on it, because i couldn't come up with too much. as one of the very few spouses who's posted here (and having done so from the beginning), i can't figure out what you read that led you to feel several spouses "become super human." i just totally don't get that vibe.

i think the myspace chp wives group is probably the best forum for at least the female significant others. it's not the kind of discussion i'd like to see on the chpforums, nor do i think dw or other moderators would care for it. it's very... "myspace-y."

not really sure how to improve the forums for family, dw. i've always thought it might be nice to have a "significant other" as a moderator specifically for a folder of family topics, but i know that could be a really gray area for you. how's you wife feel about chpforums? oh, wait... never mind... :doubt:

[bcjack]

so, the other day, i logged on for the first time in, um, forEVER, just to reply to this... then i had to sit on it, because i couldn't come up with too much. as one of the very few spouses who's posted here (and having done so from the beginning), i can't figure out what you read that led you to feel several spouses "become super human." i just totally don't get that vibe.

i think the myspace chp wives group is probably the best forum for at least the female significant others. it's not the kind of discussion i'd like to see on the chpforums, nor do i think dw or other moderators would care for it. it's very... "myspace-y."

not really sure how to improve the forums for family, dw. i've always thought it might be nice to have a "significant other" as a moderator specifically for a folder of family topics, but i know that could be a really gray area for you. how's you wife feel about chpforums? oh, wait... never mind... :doubt:

Welcome back makakona. Hope all is well with you and your SO.:biggrin:

[dw]

nor do i think dw or other moderators would care for it. it's very... "myspace-y." Ick, never mind! :biggrin:

how's you wife feel about chpforums? oh, wait... never mind... :doubt:Never looked at it. Not once. Has zero interest in Department policies, procedures, or politics. That's why I love her. :wink:

[luvduncan97]

When my husband was going through the hiring process and then the academy I used this board a lot, but did not post much because this board was mentioned up at the academy.

When my husband returned home from the academy that first week he very nicely asked me to refrain from posting anything that might draw some extra attention his way.

I made my way to the wives group which was nice and it is private so I didn't have to worry so much about asking too many questions. I think this family forum is a great way to meet other S.O.'s and the pm function is a great way to ask questions or share "extra" details.

[rayni]

as one of the very few spouses who's posted here (and having done so from the beginning), i can't figure out what you read that led you to feel several spouses "become super human." i just totally don't get that vibe.


I wanna ditto this. I think DW has already taken on enough w/ the forums as is. As already suggested by Jeff Rhea you can always PM those you feel comfortable with to ask questions. I have been able to connect several wives/s.o to someone more local that they may "click" with. I'm still wondering what this "super human" thing is that happens to some us after graduation. I personally feel that EVERY wife/s.o that I have "met" via the internet is a SUPER WOMAN for enduring the journey of application, academy, break in, & probation life. They have all been willing to pay it forward to others. Just my .02 cents from one of the few wives/s.o. frequent posters on this forum. Keep up the good work DW & thanks again for all your efforts to keep this forum up & running.

[Andy O'Hara]

The mere existence of this Family forum seems to have a positive impact, from reading the above posts. I can understand why some are uncomfortable really opening up here, but it's a place to at least "link up" at first and then either communicate by PM or MySpace or wherever works for them. Wherever they do go to talk about the things that really matter, I'm happy that this is a place they can find one another.

It would be a lot for dw to take on to make more changes, but the end result seems to be a good one--contact and sharing info! Good for all of you, however you do it! From one whose generation of spouses had to "go it alone," you're doing a super job.

[PapaBear]

I have read nothing in any of the family forums that would cause any staff member at the academy or at headquarters to become upset with a cadet in training.

What is said in these forums by family members is nothing more than expressions of concern and most are only seeking reassurance about the job, training, loneliness, discipline, etc.

Any family member has the right to inquire of others if they are experiencing similar emotions trepidations and concerns.

These forums are certainly a lot more advanced and helpful than when I went to the academy and my wife sat in Southern California with our baby and worried about what was going on with me at the academy in Sacramento.

The more questions asked by wives and SOs, the greater the spectrum of calm and peace of mind about the agency.

If any of you feel the need to make a personal inquiry about life at the academy or how to cope while your loved one is there, feel free to PM me or any CHP officer in these forums and we will do our best to offer you a positive and honest answer.

Remember, all wives, husbands and significant others that have gone before you have had similar worries and concerns.

[Punisher]

I would like to solicit ideas about ways to improve the family forums. If you could make any change(s), what would it/they be?

Something requested in the past has been to make a private section for families similar to the Chippies Only section. I'm still not convinced that is somewhere I want to go, but feel free to argue the point.

DW, my wife is always on her MySpace wives group, but she has little interest in CHPForums. The privacy factor is significant. I think spouses could really benefit from a private place where they could vent about what they are experiencing, what they are putting up with as well as sharing what they enjoy or find interesting. The problem (er...one of the problems) with those other groups are while one is closely monitored, they still allow significant others like girlfriends of cadet's, etc. In the Chippies only section, we vent but all of us remain slightly guarded because we all have a vested interest in covering our butts. I haven't really seen any officers stepping over the line. The only improvement I can see is a verified spouse section (not girlfriend's or SO's....sorry folks). That way those people can speak with a slight degree of privacy with others who are in the same boat.

All of this reeks of Divorce Court.........is that show still on???:biggrin:

[dw]

Okay, a couple people have contacted me.

If you are interested in being a part of a potential CHPForums family forum expansion please let me know.

[CHPWife]

I contacted DW close to a year ago about allowing wives in the Chippies only section and was told no. And I understand that decission. I did not come back to the forums much because I am not interested in having public discussions of that sort. I did not realize there was a family section because I have never looked in the hiring process section.

I am a member of the myspace group and I see a lot of benefit. Some of it explaining minor things like why the OT came on the 28th of the month, how the transfer list works or where to get a direct deposit form and typical questions wives seem to have. Other posts are about how you deal with shift work and holidays. But the really important ones are about husbands who were just in a shooting, in a crash or killed LOD. I get many private requests about accessing the Employee Assistance Program.

The myspace group is hard to find - you have to be invited by another member. Searching does not locate it so you can't "request" to be a member. A lot of people are left out.

I like the idea but only if it is private. I prefer only spouses. I would even suggest that membership has to be approved or authorized in some way by their verified chippie husband who can also revoke it if he does not like the postings she is making. I also think is should be kept to just CHP related topics - no need for photos of the kids or where to order Avon.

[snowdog]

I am a member of the myspace group and I see a lot of benefit. Some of it explaining minor things like why the OT came on the 28th of the month, how the transfer list works or where to get a direct deposit form and typical questions wives seem to have. Other posts are about how you deal with shift work and holidays. But the really important ones are about husbands who were just in a shooting, in a crash or killed LOD. I get many private requests about accessing the Employee Assistance Program.

The myspace group is hard to find - you have to be invited by another member. Searching does not locate it so you can't "request" to be a member. A lot of people are left out.

I like the idea but only if it is private. I prefer only spouses. I would even suggest that membership has to be approved or authorized in some way by their verified chippie husband who can also revoke it if he does not like the postings she is making. I also think is should be kept to just CHP related topics - no need for photos of the kids or where to order Avon.

I am in full support of a family support area but keep in mind that many of the topics mentioned above can be answered by one's spouse.
One serious concern that anyone should have is the discussion of their spouses involvement in a critical incident then sharing that information in a public forum. It's therapeutic to share your concerns and feelings but can be very damaging to share your spouses first hand knowledge of intimate details and their feelings about the incident. Don't be naive about how secure any public forum might be as there are lurkers all around us who would gladly use that information to harm us publicly, privately or professionally in criminal or civil court. I would suggest that before anyone posts any information regarding their spouse they first ask the spouse for permission. If one is apprehensive about asking for fear of what the answer might be, they probably already know that the answer will be.
Consider private conversations with your spouse regarding their profession the same as you would consider your intimate relationship. Would you want everyone to know al of those details?

[makakona]

The myspace group is hard to find - you have to be invited by another member. Searching does not locate it so you can't "request" to be a member. A lot of people are left out.
the problem is that anyone can invite anyone. there are wives of cadet drop-outs, ex-girlfriends of officers, and spouses from other agencies. i know efforts are being made to crack down on it, but it's not necessarily the type of forum i feel comfortable sharing personal information in (and a LOT of personal information is shared there!). it's also difficult to garner much advice there when the majority of people are still just in the academy stages. there are a few salty wives there, but not many. for whatever reason, there aren't a whole lot of 30 and 40yo women hanging around on myspace. :think:

One serious concern that anyone should have is the discussion of their spouses involvement in a critical incident then sharing that information in a public forum. It's therapeutic to share your concerns and feelings but can be very damaging to share your spouses first hand knowledge of intimate details and their feelings about the incident. Don't be naive about how secure any public forum might be as there are lurkers all around us who would gladly use that information to harm us publicly, privately or professionally in criminal or civil court.
BINGO!!! holy cow, that stuff scares me.

[CHPWife]

I am in full support of a family support area but keep in mind that many of the topics mentioned above can be answered by one's spouse.
One serious concern that anyone should have is the discussion of their spouses involvement in a critical incident then sharing that information in a public forum. It's therapeutic to share your concerns and feelings but can be very damaging to share your spouses first hand knowledge of intimate details and their feelings about the incident. Don't be naive about how secure any public forum might be as there are lurkers all around us who would gladly use that information to harm us publicly, privately or professionally in criminal or civil court. I would suggest that before anyone posts any information regarding their spouse they first ask the spouse for permission. If one is apprehensive about asking for fear of what the answer might be, they probably already know that the answer will be.
Consider private conversations with your spouse regarding their profession the same as you would consider your intimate relationship. Would you want everyone to know al of those details?

I totally agree - except for the part about their spouse answering the questions. It took 12 years for my husband to bring home an FSLA calendar for me to see so I could know the end dates, figure when OT comes etc. and forget about the direct deposit form. Newer officers don't always want to ask any questions but a wife who just relocated wants to know more about when she can get home or what it really means when he is being extended on break-in.

I ask my husband about most posts because I want my answers to be accurate. So far I have never seen anyone post anything 1036 and there are enough seasoned wives that if it heads that direction It would be shut down or deleted by the mod. I like the idea of it being here because there could be some control of who joins and maybe there is a way that the husband can see his wifes posts. If any of the wife's don't like being monitored by their husbands then this is not the place. Private messages can be sent to someone to answer some questions but without a group like this they would not know who to send a message to.

Even on the myspace group others are always warning about you never know who is really in the group. The wife of your husbands FTO or his Sgt may be reading your posts. Just as many wives sign onto the CHP only section of this forum using their husbands sign on, many husbands have read posts on the Myspace page. Once something is on the internet it is out there forever. Even if the myspace page is "private" it can still get out there. Don't post photos you would not want seen in a slide show at the christmas party and never post anything your husband may be answering questions for. officers have no control of what their wife does on myspace, maybe here they could.

I'll probably catch **** from the wives for the suggestion of them being monitored but this is something that has the potential of effecting his job. The wives will find a place to post one way or the other. the only question is should it be someplace you have some control over and there is at least a better degree of privacy.

[Stargrl]

As yet another CHP wife who is thankful for DW's forum here, the myspace group has been invaluable to me. Love it or hate it (and the ones who are too good for it are still members! They just can't keep away...) it's a great venue for the other half of the CHP officers to come together in an understanding community. There is a wonderful moderator, as well as a nice balance of salty & newbie wives to contribute. As Rayni mentioned in another thread, when your husband is in the Academy, Break-in, Probation... hey maybe even just the first 5 years as a CHP officer, there is so much going on in their day-to-day dealings that there are questions they just can't answer for us. Sometimes it's because they don't want to stand out like a sore thumb, sometimes it's because they forget over & over to ask the question (something to do with being busy on the job?? :wink:), sometimes it's because their fellow officers don't know the answer either. I've been much more informed (accurately, at that) by being a member of the myspace group.

I think if DW is going to expand into having a private family forum here, it would be in everyone's best interest if it is properly moderated. I don't know all the ins & outs of that, but I would definitely contribute to the group if DW got it started. To be honest, I have plenty of community support both from the officer's wives in our location as well as the wives on the myspace group, but I am very grateful to DW for this site and would contribute to the forum if it was started as a way of giving back.

As far as too much detail being given out on the private myspace wives group, there is a great (veteran wife) moderator as well as plenty of veteran wives who help keep details from getting too personal. I know not everyone may agree with me, but the dissenters are in the minority. Discretion is a virtue, and hopefully couples can be trustworthy with each other about how detailed they are being on the internet. If an officer couldn't trust his wife with info she may be posting on a group, they probably have bigger problems that.

[OfficerWife]

As yet another CHP wife who is thankful for DW's forum here, the myspace group has been invaluable to me. Love it or hate it (and the ones who are too good for it are still members! They just can't keep away...) it's a great venue for the other half of the CHP officers to come together in an understanding community. There is a wonderful moderator, as well as a nice balance of salty & newbie wives to contribute. As Rayni mentioned in another thread, when your husband is in the Academy, Break-in, Probation... hey maybe even just the first 5 years as a CHP officer, there is so much going on in their day-to-day dealings that there are questions they just can't answer for us. Sometimes it's because they don't want to stand out like a sore thumb, sometimes it's because they forget over & over to ask the question (something to do with being busy on the job?? :wink:), sometimes it's because their fellow officers don't know the answer either. I've been much more informed (accurately, at that) by being a member of the myspace group.

I think if DW is going to expand into having a private family forum here, it would be in everyone's best interest if it is properly moderated. I don't know all the ins & outs of that, but I would definitely contribute to the group if DW got it started. To be honest, I have plenty of community support both from the officer's wives in our location as well as the wives on the myspace group, but I am very grateful to DW for this site and would contribute to the forum if it was started as a way of giving back.

As far as too much detail being given out on the private myspace wives group, there is a great (veteran wife) moderator as well as plenty of veteran wives who help keep details from getting too personal. I know not everyone may agree with me, but the dissenters are in the minority. Discretion is a virtue, and hopefully couples can be trustworthy with each other about how detailed they are being on the internet. If an officer couldn't trust his wife with info she may be posting on a group, they probably have bigger problems that.

...couldn't have said it any better than that!

[Mac]

...Just as many wives sign onto the CHP only section of this forum using their husbands sign on, many husbands have read posts on the Myspace page....
I'm very strongly against both of those things happening.

Wives do not belong in the "Chippies Only" forum, and husbands do not belong in a "CHP Wives" forum. The "Chippies Only" section is labeled as such for a reason - it's not called the "Chippies and nosey significant others" section. Not that my wife would ever even request it (because she has no interest in sticking her nose in my job or trying to run my life), but if she asked for my login so she could read the "Chippies Only" forums, I'd tell her to go pound sand up her ***. If she were a member of a "Wives' page", I would have less than zero interest in sticking my nose in there to see what she was posting or what the other wives were talking about....and even if I was interested, I wouldn't violate her privacy (and the privacy of the rest of the wives) by even asking her to log me in there.

This is proof that "verification" is only as good as the honor of those who have been "verified"....which apparently isn't very good in some cases.

[jrsfan]

I'm very strongly against both of those things happening.

Wives do not belong in the "Chippies Only" forum, and husbands do not belong in a "CHP Wives" forum. The "Chippies Only" section is labeled as such for a reason - it's not called the "Chippies and nosey significant others" section. Not that my wife would ever even request it (because she has no interest in sticking her nose in my job or trying to run my life), but if she asked for my login so she could read the "Chippies Only" forums, I'd tell her to go pound sand up her ***. If she were a member of a "Wives' page", I would have less than zero interest in sticking my nose in there to see what she was posting or what the other wives were talking about....and even if I was interested, I wouldn't violate her privacy (and the privacy of the rest of the wives) by even asking her to log me in there.

This is proof that "verification" is only as good as the honor of those who have been "verified"....which apparently isn't very good in some cases.

It may not earn me any fans around here, but I agree with Mac on this one. Although I would love to know everything all the time, I am not an officer. My husband is verified now and has access to that section, but I do not ask to see what he sees or know what he knows in that respect. And he does not ask to see the Wives Club pages either. We share what is necessary, but we also respect the privacy of the other members of each respective forum.

As far as improving the family forums on here, I would be glad to help with anything I can, DW. I, too, have been able to benefit somewhat from the wives group on MySpace. For me however, it was another way to meet and talk privately with other wives. I don't post as much on there because of potential lurkers. And I have tried to bite my tongue on here whenever possible (yes, I am still working on that). I do not feel the need for an entirely new website for the families to use, as I think we can accomplish the same things here.

[CHPWife]

I agree that “verified chippies” should not be sharing their log-in with anyone, but they do. No “private” forum is ever really private. I think the wives browse there because the Chippies only section is where the accurate info is and if they are not on MySpace they have no place else to go.

Many husbands don’t want their wives posting anyplace because of some of the reasons pointed out earlier. I don’t like the idea of them having access to the whole area but I understand some husbands would want to be able to check-in on what his wife is posting on a forum here – after all it could cost him his job. My husband knows I understand what I can talk about and what I can’t, and if I’m not sure I ask him. Many wives just talk and don’t consider the consequences not understanding that it really can affect them.

Many of your wives have no interest in anything related to the Dept but many are starving for accurate info. A structured, monitored and (mostly) private are here would give the wives someplace to meet other wives and get answers to their questions. If they have to be recommended by a verified chippie that would keep ex’s (or soon to be) out. If a husband knows his wife has no filter and could end up getting him into hot water he can keep her out.

If they don’t add a controlled area here they will end up someplace else like the MySpace group where sometimes they talk about things better not discussed. There is a lot of accurate info there and it would be nice if it could be shared with a wider audience in a safe (reasonably) area.

[Eagl5]

My wife thinks I'm crazy for always coming to this site, but I like it and Hells Kitchen is not on until 9 oclock. That being said, she has seen whats in here, and she could care less. She thinks some of the stuff posted on here is funny and at times stupid. Most of her friends are wives of officers from this agency and others and one of her best friends is a widow of a fallen hero. If she wanted to see whats on here, I'll show here, nothing we do here is national security? What we cant tell her PMA stuff? How many used your wives and girlfriends to practice in the Academy? I did, plus it led to...oh never mind. I tell my wife everything because she is my best friend and my support unit. I don't come home expecting my pipe and slippers to be ready with a martinin to tide me over until dinner. And to keep her mouth shut and dont ask about my day, I want her and expect her too. We have to keep our wives in the loop, they need to know what goes on in our jobs, because when you hold everything in the "D" word can appear and tear families apart. Am I saying Im perfect? No, I have always shared with my wife and always will, works for us. PS, same goes for husbands of female officers lets not forget them, they are just as important.

[snowdog]

My wife thinks I'm crazy for always coming to this site, but I like it and Hells Kitchen is not on until 9 oclock. That being said, she has seen whats in here, and she could care less. She thinks some of the stuff posted on here is funny and at times stupid. Most of her friends are wives of officers from this agency and others and one of her best friends is a widow of a fallen hero. If she wanted to see whats on here, I'll show here, nothing we do here is national security? What we cant tell her PMA stuff? How many used your wives and girlfriends to practice in the Academy? I did, plus it led to...oh never mind. I tell my wife everything because she is my best friend and my support unit. I don't come home expecting my pipe and slippers to be ready with a martinin to tide me over until dinner. And to keep her mouth shut and dont ask about my day, I want her and expect her too. We have to keep our wives in the loop, they need to know what goes on in our jobs, because when you hold everything in the "D" word can appear and tear families apart. Am I saying Im perfect? No, I have always shared with my wife and always will, works for us. PS, same goes for husbands of female officers lets not forget them, they are just as important.
After reading your entire post I have the feeling you've already had a couple of martini's to hold you over :lol:. But, you got the point across,,,, I think. Hell's Kitchen in 7 minutes. Poor another one and enjoy.

[Eagl5]

cheers

[dw]

It took chpfamily.com to revive this thread but it now appears there is some interest in expanding our family section.

I'll be honest and tell you that I'm not sure what I want to do. A good part of me says "to hell with it," I don't see why families need to be touchy-feeley. The other part of me knows some family members benefit from support and that if it is not here it will certainly be somewhere else. In the interest of providing a quality-site, I should assist.

I'll share the complications I already see. Clearly it is not possible to please everyone. Already differing opinions have been expressed about who should be allowed into such a forum.

dw thinking out loud:If we expand the family forum here I want moderators for that section who would essentially run it. It would be organized and moderated under the same basic principles as the rest of the site. I would not want to be involved in day-to-day operations, but myself and the current site-moderators would retain ultimate editorial control. If a private family section was created, I could not pledge the same promise of confidentiality that I do in the officer's section. I am not saying that I will go out saying who is who, but my loyalties are to the Department and that needs to be recognized.

I will be discussing this with the moderators and will let everyone know when a decision is made.

[mmachp]

It seems to me that when family members are claiming to want a "private" section...they want it to be private from "verified chippies." I think that's why the chpfamily slogan is "for the family, by the family." Family members and s.o.'s don't seem to mind the viewing of the general public and those in the hiring process...but I think having authority figures such as verified chippies running the site makes them feel intimidated. I've noticed family members talking about chippies jumping down their throat, or something of that nature; and that's what intimidates them or makes them feel uncomfortable. So instead of trying to find the right way to word a question and/or statement...they just avoid it altogether.

I've noticed a difference in the attitude of applicants. We don't mind having chippies "jump down our throats", correct us, or give it to us straight. It's going to be a huge part of this very noble career. Family members however don't want to put up with it...they WANT to be touchy feely as DW said, without being criticized or corrected. Which is why the Myspace group exists, and now chpfamily.

I'm not saying I agree with the assumptions or feelings of SOME family members towards verified chippies; or that I see why they need to be touchy feely, because I don't. It's just my observation, and my humble opinion as to why some family members want to use a forum or venue that is completely removed from this one. I could be wrong.

[makakona]

As far as too much detail being given out on the private myspace wives group, there is a great (veteran wife) moderator as well as plenty of veteran wives who help keep details from getting too personal.
um, like the threads where people have listed full names, kids' names, badge numbers, academy classes, addresses, phone numbers, dob's, anniversaries, and so on? i don't fault the moderator for that at all, it's not her responsibility, but really? HOW is that good information to share on the internet? how is that not "too personal?" like i said, not knocking the moderator, but let's call a spade a spade.

[rayni]

um, like the threads where people have listed full names, kids' names, badge numbers, academy classes, addresses, phone numbers, dob's, anniversaries, and so on? i don't fault the moderator for that at all, it's not her responsibility, but really? HOW is that good information to share on the internet? how is that not "too personal?" like i said, not knocking the moderator, but let's call a spade a spade.

Alright now here's an example of meow. You haven't posted DOB & kids' names? People post what they are comfortable with. I know you & your husband cringe @ what is posted so if the group is too personal resign. I'll chime in later because I'm not on internet via computer. UGH!

[BoySergeant]

I'm very strongly against both of those things happening.

Wives do not belong in the "Chippies Only" forum, and husbands do not belong in a "CHP Wives" forum. The "Chippies Only" section is labeled as such for a reason - it's not called the "Chippies and nosey significant others" section. Not that my wife would ever even request it (because she has no interest in sticking her nose in my job or trying to run my life), but if she asked for my login so she could read the "Chippies Only" forums, I'd tell her to go pound sand up her ***. If she were a member of a "Wives' page", I would have less than zero interest in sticking my nose in there to see what she was posting or what the other wives were talking about....and even if I was interested, I wouldn't violate her privacy (and the privacy of the rest of the wives) by even asking her to log me in there.

This is proof that "verification" is only as good as the honor of those who have been "verified"....which apparently isn't very good in some cases.

+1 Additionally, those who do share their log-on's with someone intentionally should have their membership card revoked. No toaster at the holiday party and castration with rusty tools. Chippies only means CHIPPIES only. If you want to read that portion, spend 6 months in the Academy.

[BoySergeant]

I read all of your posts... it sounds like this is time for pm's, please.

Thanks.

[CHPWife]

It seems to me that when family members are claiming to want a "private" section...they want it to be private from "verified chippies."

I don't agree there at all. The wives want a place where they can announce that the parity has been approved at 4.1% and then explain what that means and when it will take effect or ask about what happens now if her husband is being extended. Just things that are better left out of the general forum.

[Stargrl]

um, like the threads where people have listed full names, kids' names, badge numbers, academy classes, addresses, phone numbers, dob's, anniversaries, and so on? i don't fault the moderator for that at all, it's not her responsibility, but really? HOW is that good information to share on the internet? how is that not "too personal?" like i said, not knocking the moderator, but let's call a spade a spade.

Yes. Well, it is myspace after all, and that's information that people have on their personal spaces anyways. That's stuff that they feel comfortable with having on myspace, whether it's a group or not. I'm not too excited about giving out my personal info, so I usually refrain personally, but it is their choice after all. People have their date of birth, the highschool they graduated from, everything except their ss# on myspace. Our husbands' names & badge #'s are public information. I know I've read personal info of yours regarding your family, but that not the kind of info I consider inappropriate. Knowing your children's names and ages, your name, your husband's, the office he's in, is different to me than putting up information that's confidential regarding CHP policy & procedures, or information about the Academy that is also confidential.

[makakona]

if i ever posted my husband's name or office, it was purely a slip of tongue, er, fingers? it's not like our names are bob and jenny and we can just slip quietly into the night. i know i've posted his OLD office, but if i posted his current one, it was by accident.

[dw]

Last call for those interested in helping with our Family Forums. PM me.

[rayni]

:biggrin: Here's my deal. Would you want someone from your private group whether it's 'verified chippie' or chp wives club (myspace) to come to a public forum and air their gripes about the private group posting? I don't. What is the point? Bring your issue w/ whatever group to that group in private. If it's been addressed in the private group let the issue die there. If the issue isn't resolved to your liking simply resign from the group or SUCK IT UP that you didn't get your way. I joined the internet chat stuff last year. Checked out the public CHP myspace group & attempted to participate in the group. Moderator turns out isn't even in the CHP application process &/or dropped out of the process (last I knew), allowed things in the group that made me crazy. I addressed the issue & nothing was done. I resigned my membership & haven't looked back since. My only issue w/ our private chp wives club isn't anything to do w/ the contents, but you just can't navigate thru anything in a group. I find this public forum VERY helpful, but I get the desire to create a 'private' family forum here. Alright done w/ my 2 cents. I tried my best to articulate my point to the best of my ability & definitely minus the 'meow'. Women will get catty as men will pound on their chest to prove they have more testosterone, but I'll do my best to take my midol before I post again.:lol: