Sixteen Police Comments

[NWCYNC]

I got this in an email and thought I would share.:biggrin:


These 16 Police Comments were taken off actual police car videos
around the country:

16. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just
went through."

15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch
after you wear them a while."

14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate
a worthless document."

13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the
speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."

11 "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can
write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it
will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"

9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk
or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to
ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."

6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster
oven."

5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

4 "How big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"

3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're
allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

2 "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of
yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."

AND THE WINNER IS....

1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't.
Sign here."

[bcjack]

AND THE WINNER IS....

1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't.
Sign here."

This goes with the last few stories on this thread!!!:badgrin:

http://www.chpforums.com/forum/showthread.php?t=4244

[NWCYNC]

Wow! :biggrin: Those are pretty good stories!

[retchp]

Guilty of saying 1,2,3,4, 6, 10,and 11.

[G-Man]

Guilty of saying 1,2,3,4, 6, 10,and 11.

2, 4, and 15 so far. I got quite a few years left for the others. I haven't gotten too gutsy quite yet. There are a few more I have said that are not on the list, but equally as entertaining given the circumstance. I'll post them here in about 27 and a 1/2 years.

[Jeff Rhea]

My brother got the, "Do you know how fast you were going?" routine outside Coalinga once. His reply? "Well if you don't know how fast I was going what are we doing here?" The officer's reply? "So if you don't know how fast you were going I guess I could write you for 105 and couldn't contest it!" His reply, "My speedometer only goes to 85 and I had it pegged. So I know I'm over 85, but I don't think this station wagon with a load of sales supplies in the back will do 105." Turns out the officer did know, at least that's what the ticket said; 95 mph.

[Jeff Rhea]

"You have to read me my rights!"
"Why?"
"Because I know my rights and you have to read them to me!"
"If you know them then why do I have to read them to you?"
"Because you're required to!"
"Okay. You have the right to die. You have the right to an autopsy. You have the right to have your autopsy performed by a medical examiner. If you cannot afford a medical examiner one will be appointed to disect you free of charge. Now, having these rights in mind do you still want to run off at the mouth?" :tape:

[Mac]

"You have to read me my rights!"
"Why?"
"Because I know my rights and you have to read them to me!"
"If you know them then why do I have to read them to you?"
"Because you're required to!"
Oh, I love those....they've seen it on tv (because it makes for good drama), so it MUST be true. :badgrin:

My favorite response:
"You have the right to remain silent. USE IT."

[Jeff Rhea]

Although I have used that quote a few times with belligerant drunks, it is actaully from the '70's movie, Feebie and the Bean. As I recall, it was James Cann who used the line in the movie, but it's been...oh... 30 years or so since I last saw that one. Good quote nonetheless.