Support

[PharmGirl]

Nellie, I understand your wife being busy...but when the time comes and you do go to the academy, make sure she goes to the orientation meeting (usually a few days before you leave) with you..it will put a lot of things into perspective for her and she will understand what it is you will be going thru. Also, at the end of the academy make sure she attends the 'Spouse' meeting....trust me there is net-working there that she should really try to do. I learned a lot from the experienced wives there.

[Nellie]

I am in the application process, and I am fortunate to say that my wife and kids are giving their full support. If I make it into the CHP, there will be adjustments. I will have to find someone to take my 11th grade daughter to school every morning. I will have to "encourage" my wife to take the kids to the gym regularly; I have been working out and swimming with the kids about 5 times a week. My wife has a hard time falling asleep without me in the house, but she said she will adjust. I asked my daughter if she would rather me get a teaching job in town so I could have summers and holidays off with the family, and she looked stunned. She said I should join the CHP.

I have prodded for signs that my family would really rather not have me join the CHP so we could discuss apprehensions. I have found no such signs. They are firmly behind me.

Hmmm...maybe they are trying to get rid of me! Just kidding.

[Your Mentor]

Sounds like your family is understandibly proud of you. Go with it. The Academy is only a fraction of your life and career. True, being a cop means sacrificing holidays but it all works out in the end. Many officers work graveyards so they can take their kids to school after they get off and pick them up after they wake up. And you get to have dinner with your family before going to work. The down side, of course, is the empty bed syndrome many spouses dislike. Morning shift is good for picking up kids and spending time at their sports/club events but takes some seniority to get on. Afternoon shift is good for having breakfast with the family and taking the kids to school. You miss dinner if you don't live on your beat but there's no empty bed syndrome (of course you get off late). It all works out because your already married and have kids. It's a new chapter in their lives as well. I bet they're as excited as you are. Go for it!!! Unless you're unsure, in which case keep prodding for those signs but most importantly prod yourself for any hint of hesitation. Good Luck!

[K-Lo]

We don't know each other, but I want to wish you the best Nellie.

[Your Mentor]

Nellie,
Perhaps you should encourage your family members to join our forum. I can't think of a better way to gain insight into what you'll be doing and how all of your lives will change.
Your Mentor

[PharmGirl]

I know this is late, but also set up a support system for your wife while you are gone. When my husband was in the academy - My washer flooded part of the house - he never knew. My car died, I had the new car papers waiting for him one weekend. We have one child and we adapted....It can be done, but if I didn't have family and friends to help me I am sure I would have lost it....Now I think nothing of it. I met several of the other wives from his class also, we kept in touch with email. Sunday nights are the hardest and you live for Fridays!
Oh and for the 11th grader...hmmm is it time for a car dad?? :smile:

[Nellie]

She's one of those early 11th graders. She's not quite 16 yet, and she's not too excited about driving. Right now, if she could get by with just reading fantasy/sci-fi books, eating regularly, and watching her favorite anime shows (she gets mad when I call them cartoons), she'd be a happy camper.

The network thing is a great idea. I don't know anybody around here attending the academy though. My wife is pretty busy as a first-year fifth grade teacher, and I hardly see her anyway. Plus, when I was going to college at nights for about 6 years off and on (26 months at the longest stretch), I was also working during the day. I would leave for work at 4AM and get home from school at 11PM. We should be able to weather the academy together.

As for getting my family to participate on the forums, my daughters are too shy. My wife would just tell me she's too busy.

Thanks for the replies.