Aspiring Cadet--Nervous Relatives?

[eclectica]

Hi, I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this (I'm not a family member of a cadet, but I myself am currently about to begin my background investigation and hopefully enter the academy in 2007...), but here it goes: I'm definitely at the younger end of the spectrum. Most of my family is very proud and supportive, but there are a few who are genuinely concerned for my safety as an officer. I have thought about the dangers, and I've obviously chosen to accept them, but how can I reassure my relatives? (This is not in the context of husband/boyfriend/kids...) Their feelings won't change my decision; I just want do what I can to help them feel more comfortable with it, if possible.

Any suggestions would really be appreciated! :smile:

[SweetTaterPie]

Hi, I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this (I'm not a family member of a cadet, but I myself am currently about to begin my background investigation and hopefully enter the academy in 2007...), but here it goes: I'm definitely at the younger end of the spectrum. Most of my family is very proud and supportive, but there are a few who are genuinely concerned for my safety as an officer. I have thought about the dangers, and I've obviously chosen to accept them, but how can I reassure my relatives? (This is not in the context of husband/boyfriend/kids...) Their feelings won't change my decision; I just want do what I can to help them feel more comfortable with it, if possible.

Any suggestions would really be appreciated! :smile:

Hi there. I imagine every prospective CHP Cadet encounters the same problem with family members. It's always best to educate yourself as thoroughly as possible, and by virtue of your knowledge, you'll be better able to reassure your family. You have a way to go before you'll be eligible for the Academy and, once in, you'll be a cadet for a substantial length of time. Use that time to talk to your recruiter/background investigator about your family's concerns. I can tell you that the job IS potentially dangerous, and I don't want to sugar-coat it. But for that very reason, the CHP assures each cadet receives very thorough and comprehensive training. Training is vital for the new officer, and until the officer gains experience, it will be his/her mainstay in assuring safe employment. If you have to tell your family a single thing to help reassure them, tell them that the CHP training you will receive at the Academy is excellent, and that you will not be thrust into the job without having demonstrated proficiency.

Good Luck!

[pupdog]

That's exactly what I told my family, but it wasn't the right thing. Every family is different, and I hope that's what yours needs to hear, because I just don't know what else to say. If I did I might still be at the academy. This is a subject VERY close to my heart! My family was real supportive throughout the application process, but as Sept. 18 drew nearer, their real feelings came through, and things just fell apart. Wonder if any other cadets reported this morning thinking what I was...'I'll just stay long enough to bring my fitness to the next level.' While being yelled at, I was thinking so much about how my dad had been near tears every time we'd spoken in the weeks leading up. My DAD! I expect melodrama from mom, but this was a whole new enchalada! Granted, family wasn't the only factor in my leaving, but it was a huge part. During the 1st week there was a meeting for the female cadets, and a couple of female officers spoke to us about family support. I just sat there fighting tears!

[WannaBeaChippie]

Hi, I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this (I'm not a family member of a cadet, but I myself am currently about to begin my background investigation and hopefully enter the academy in 2007...), but here it goes: I'm definitely at the younger end of the spectrum. Most of my family is very proud and supportive, but there are a few who are genuinely concerned for my safety as an officer. I have thought about the dangers, and I've obviously chosen to accept them, but how can I reassure my relatives? (This is not in the context of husband/boyfriend/kids...) Their feelings won't change my decision; I just want do what I can to help them feel more comfortable with it, if possible.

Any suggestions would really be appreciated! :smile:Try to let them grasp it in their own time, there is no way that they can know how you truly feel about this, and this is your career. Family is very important when it comes to accepting a job like this one. But ultimately, they will have to respect your decision and hopefully they will accept whatever happens. Good Luck to you...:biggrin:

[eclectica]

Thank you for the tips...I have the holidays to put them (hopefully...) at ease.

(By the way, I just got the phone call from my background investigator today!)

:D

[Mac]

I was 21 when I went to the Academy, and my folks were very concerned for my safety. However, they also realized that I felt very strongly about LE as my career choice and wasn't going to deviate from it. About the only thing I could tell them to allay their fears was that I was going to be well-trained, always keep my guard up, and be surrounded by equally well-trained people to cover my back. They were very supportive and proud of me - but to tell the truth, my mind was already made up that it wouldn't have made one damn bit of difference to me if they hadn't been...I had chosen my path, and was going to walk it no matter what.

Years later, as I was doing the background investigation on one of my Explorers, his mom asked me "will you promise me that he'll be safe out there?". I answered "Ma'am, I can promise you that we'll train him the best we know how and watch out for him - beyond that, I can't make you any promises about his safety, just like nobody can make me any promises about mine".

There's no denying that this is a dangerous profession, and anybody who thinks otherwise is a fool. It's pretty natural for your loved ones to be concerned for your safety - I'll bet we've all experienced that. I don't know what you could say to convince them that you'll be safe out there, because after over 20 years of doing the job I still haven't convinced MYSELF of that. About all you can say is that it's what you want to do, it's an honorable and meaningful profession, and that you (and your beat partners) will do everything in your power to make sure you come home safely at the end of every shift. Beyond that, it's no more in your control than it would be if you got hit by a falling piano while walking down the street.

[retchp]

On the plus side...while it can be dangerous "out there", and there are many armed and dangerous people running around, not to mention sorry excuses for drivers, an old school sergeant used to close his briefing by saying,"remember guys, they are armed and dangerous out there, but then so are you."
No one will ever hit the street without a lot of training and evaluation by experienced people. Once you have that and a little experience you should be as ready as you can be for anything that comes up. They are not sending an inexperienced kid out to do the job. By the time you hit the street and finish break-in and your year of probation you will be a totally different person than whatever you were when you filled out your initial application.
Just always remember to look out for #1 first in any situation and that #1 is you. The goal is to return to your home at the end of your shift. Nothing else matters.
While any moment can be your last in a law enforcement career, any moment in your life can be your last as well.
Plenty of folks retire from very dangerous careers such as iron workers, liquor store clerks, big city cab drivers, cross country trucking, coal mining and so forth.
TV cop shows exaggerate what a typical day in LE is like. Thus all the worry by family and friends. Yes you can be killed or injured in LE, but you can be killed or injured sitting in a bus stop waiting to go to your boring job too.

[Flying Pig]

A lot of times, I think officer/candidates are their own worst enemy on this one. Telling family members all of the gory details of every call they went on thatr week. They dont hear about the 98% of the other calls you went on where you were dealing with everyday people. People watch COPS, but what they dont realize, is that many times, COPS is with a department for weeks, if not a month or more before they get enough footage for one episode. TV is the biggest enemy of police. Not News Media....I mean shows like CSI, NCIS, etc where the guys are in 2 or 3 shootouts per episode. I dont even watch that crap unless I want a good laugh. Cops are portrayed as alcoholics, gamblers and on the verge of divorce. When in reality, the BIGGEST majority of cops I know are exactly the opposite.

The vast majority of times, people just get themselves all worked up over a loved one being in law enforcement. Law Enforcement is a different way of life. But I can tell you that I am safer than the majority of the public. We know how evil the world really is. I am trained to handle situations, I know how to talk to people, I am always armed and I am definitely more aware of my surroundings. My family is safer when they are with me. I never get stuck in traffic because I know all the streets and short cuts.

You not going to do anything to help your family members be more comfortable with it. Theyll never be comfortable with it. But after a while, in their minds, it will seem like youve always been a cop.

[ResQ]

I reassured my family by relating that I would want someone like ME responding to assist them if they were broke down, or in a collision...or if someone was threatening them.

There IS danger out there, but you will be equipped to deal with it...and your beat partners are there to assist...it is a team effort.

When you are dealing with the "routine" calls, you will be in servant mode...giving of yourself because of your beliefs. When you are dealing with the "dangerous" calls, there are other officers and other agencies there to keep you safe..and they are there as fast as they can be.

It is moving to have your family care for you...but they rely on people like you to continue living the lifestyle they do.

blue skies...

[paulmc71]

I don't want to sound insensitive...but there have been close to 18,000 officers come out of the academy, and there are 210 (?) names on the fountain ( I hope that numbers right). I'm not saying that these officers were not good, even GREAT, officers. However, a huge amount of officers make it to retirement and enjoy a great life.

The reason for that is the TRAINING. not just in the academy, but throughout your career. Apply it everyday.

Tuesday I will be starting the 3rd week of the academy, and even though I have learned alot, I do not have what it takes to be an officer. When I graduate I may not have it all. But my fellow officers will make sure I have everything I need to do the job and come home everyday.

Your family sees you as the little kid that used to do all th "stupid, little kid" things.

JUST PROVE THEM WRONG.;)

[lilgordo78]

I have read a lot of what the other members have said, and I agree. My husband is in the acadamy right now (he just started in the December class) from what I understand from him Safty is a top priority to them and it is important for them to train you to be the best officer you can be. So as a family member who has had those worries and who's mother has been worried about me being a widow with a baby on the way... tell your family, it will be ok... there are dangers in your life no matter what you do, and the PT staff and Instructors are there to make you become the best & safe officer you can me. Good luck with your application process. I know how nerve racking it can be.