How do I keep my cadet Modivated

[JC]

My BF is going into his 7th week . He is one of the older cadets mid 30's. Its very difficult to keep him modivated. He is physcially fit and was prepared for the academy. He has had a few injuries already. He has thought about quitting due to his injuries. How do I keep him from quitting. He has waited years to get in and has worked hard like everyone else to get this far.

[mb116]

I can't imagine myself quitting after years of trying to get in to the academy.

A few ideas...

- Remind him of his goals and how long he has wanted to do this.
- Remind him of all the work it has taken and that anything worth having is worth working for.
- Tell him that six months of the hardest work he has ever done is going to result in a lifelong career with the best, most respected law enforcement agency in california.
- Being that your his significant other, tell him that you believe in him, that you know he can do it.
- Tell him to take it one class at a time, then one day at a time, and then one week at a time, and then one month at a time and in no time he will be done.

The cold hard truth is that once he makes the decision that he wants to quit, nothing will be able to stop him. Do your best to keep him focused because if he makes that decision. There is no going back. Good luck.

[goldendog]

Tell him I'll take his place........
Or like 10,000 others will!
Is he hurt, or injured? There is A HUGE difference between the two. That will be the answer to your question..

[bcjack]

Where's makakona when you need her??????????????:badgrin:

[100+daily]

Life on the Patrol is completely different than the Academy. He will miss out on a fun and rewarding career by quitting.

[Mac]

Life on the Patrol is completely different than the Academy. He will miss out on a fun and rewarding career by quitting.
Yep - gotta focus on the light at the end of the tunnel. Once you're done with the Academy, you never have to do it again. 7 weeks in is almost a third of the way through - time starts passing a lot faster once you've reached that point. My "tough spot" came at the end of the first week.....once I got past that, they would have had to drag me out of there kicking and screaming, because there was no way in HELL that I was quitting!

It truly is a great career....but just like every one of us has, he has to earn it. Nothing truly worth having is free or easy. It sure is a great feeling when you pin that badge on for the first time at graduation, because you know deep down inside that it wasn't "given" to you....you EARNED it with your blood, sweat and tears.

[Chp4me]

Life on the Patrol is completely different than the Academy. He will miss out on a fun and rewarding career by quitting.
Yep - gotta focus on the light at the end of the tunnel. Once you're done with the Academy, you never have to do it again. 7 weeks in is almost a third of the way through - time starts passing a lot faster once you've reached that point. My "tough spot" came at the end of the first week.....once I got past that, they would have had to drag me out of there kicking and screaming, because there was no way in HELL that I was quitting!

It truly is a great career....but just like every one of us has, he has to earn it. Nothing truly worth having is free or easy. It sure is a great feeling when you pin that badge on for the first time at graduation, because you know deep down inside that it wasn't "given" to you....you EARNED it with your blood, sweat and tears.



That is what I told my background too Mac "kicking and screaming" It is a long hard road to get in, and in your thirties not much if any time to do it again! Given the chance to complete a goal such as this out of the thousands of very qualified people! DON"T GIVE UP NOW! That is what I would tell him, and may in December. Hopefully he has other cadets there telling him the same!

[dlg2k6]

JC - Hi!

My fiance is also in this class so I know just how tough this is for them. So many of the applicants on this forum continue to say how they "will NOT quit no matter what!!!" or continually wonder how anyone could possibly quit after going through such a long and tough process to get into the academy but boy are they in for the shock of their life LOL. No one can possibly even begin to imagine what it is really like until they get there and actually experience it for themselves!

My fiance has told me that there are several in his company (like 6-7 I believe) who are injured right now, so your boyfriend is certainly not alone. He also told me how those injured get a lot of heavy flack from the staff, so I imagine he is having an even tougher time than some because of the attention that he is getting from that. I really hope his injury is not bad and that it heals soon. From what I am being told, ANYTHING that brings attention to them is not a good thing and should be avoided at all costs! An injury usually can't be helped, but brings unfortunate attention.

I can only confirm some of what has already posted as far as suggestions to keep him positive have helped me with my fiance so far. Does he get to come home every weekend? We are lucky that we are able to afford for my cadet to fly home every weekend. For some, that may be a hinderance, but for us it helps a lot. Instead of counting weeks or months down, we just count down to Friday and before we knew it - he's already into his 7th week! Another thing we have been focusing on lately is that the next couple months will go fast due to some of the following:

1) Nice long 4 day weekend for Thanksgiving in November.
2) Seniors will be graduating Dec 1 (not completely positive on that date)
3) New class will be arriving on Dec 11 - some of the staff attention will divert over to them! (at least we are hoping! haha)
4) Nice 3 day weekend for Christmas.
5) Nice 3 day weekend for New Year's Day.

Now -- by this time they are already into January and only a couple more months to go! Just try to continue to tell him that every time he starts feeling down, to remind himself that this is just a temporary situation and that it will all be over soon. Remind him of how many people just live out their lives in a JOB that they hate, but that he has been given this opportunity to for a CAREER in hopefully what will be something he will love.

One more thing I would like to add - tell him to make sure to ask himself and think hard about how he is going to really feel a year from now about quitting the academy. Will he have serious regrets? Will he question himself as to whether he should have stuck it out? If he can honestly not have any doubt about that then maybe it is not for him. However, if he has reservations, encourage him to give 100%, then if has to leave due to a failure of some sort he can know that he gave 100% and did not just walk away.

Hope everything works out for the best for the both of you.

[PapaBear]

"Winners never quit; Quitters never win" Remind him of the dedication it took him to get this far. All of the testing, grinding, worry and torment. The next few weeks are designed to weed out those who really do not want the position. The hard work is well worth the effort he will have to put forth. There will be nothing else in his future that will give him the personal satisfaction as receiving that "Seven Pointed Star" upon graduation. Not everyone can do it and not everyone is worthy of it. Hang tough!!!!

Tom

[makakona]

Where's makakona when you need her??????????????:badgrin:
ha. i'm not sure i have much advice... my husband never once thought about quitting. he's kind of an unmovable sort (he has to be, married to me!) and it's just not something that would ever be in his character to do. well, that and the fact that he'd have to find a new family to come home to... and he'd never be able to afford the child support. :D he was very aware that there was a rhyme and reason for all of the pt, yelling, and carrying on and he didn't take any of it personally. it was hard for each member of our family to be split up for those six months, but we all knew there was a greater goal and that was the focus for him AND for me to just keep rolling with the punches. i wouldn't know how to support someone who constantly talked about quitting... i'd likely get fed up and tell them to just quit already so i didn't have to hear it anymore. it's not my job to find someone else's motivation.

he just called me and i read this to him. he said, yeah, there was some sucky days, but it was never enough to quit... that his way of giving everyone the bird was to suck it up and stick it out.

[JC]

thank you everyone for all your support. I hope some of what is written here will help him.

[guest997]

I seriouslly can't understand why people are complaing and wanting info on what the Academy training consist of. PEOPLE if you plan on becoming part of a great orginazation,such as the CHP, then you better plan,prepare,and adjust to whatever the Academy plans on dishing out, hence the word " PARAMILITARY TRAINING".
Seriouslly again, How do you expect to become a successfull officer if you can not plan for the unexpected. The CHP gives people a chance to be a part of a great orginazation, however, you must commit and must be determined to work for the State of California, the Orginazation(CHP), and your fellow team of Officers.
AND THATS THAT!!!!......so please stop complaining, be determined if you fill out that application, and strive to be a great Officer, not a have assed(excuse the languge) officer.....GOOOOOD LUCK!!!!.... I do hope to succeed and work for the State of California, the Orginazation(CHP), and my future fellow team of Officers.

[dlg2k6]

I seriouslly can't understand why people are complaing and wanting info on what the Academy training consist of. PEOPLE if you plan on becoming part of a great orginazation,such as the CHP, then you better plan,prepare,and adjust to whatever the Academy plans on dishing out, hence the word " PARAMILITARY TRAINING".
Seriouslly again, How do you expect to become a successfull officer if you can not plan for the unexpected. The CHP gives people a chance to be a part of a great orginazation, however, you must commit and must be determined to work for the State of California, the Orginazation(CHP), and your fellow team of Officers.
AND THATS THAT!!!!......so please stop complaining, be determined if you fill out that application, and strive to be a great Officer, not a have assed(excuse the languge) officer.....GOOOOOD LUCK!!!!.... I do hope to succeed and work for the State of California, the Orginazation(CHP), and my future fellow team of Officers.

First of all, did you even actually READ the posts in this particular thread? I don't believe anyone was complaining about how hard or easy it is to become an officer OR asked what the academy training consisted of. Just how far in the process are you, anyway? I hope you just started because you are going to need lots of time to work on your spelling and sentence structure as you will most certainly need it if you happen to make it to the academy.

[9217]

I wonder how difficult it will be for your BF to get assigned to San Diego?

[pupdog]

And of course, I'm reading these posts from CTC III-06 (motivated dedicated HOO-RAH!) loved ones wondering WHO???? I'm so glad to see you coming here for advice and support, because in my little pipe dream, I was the last of that class to quit, all who watched me walk away are still there, although I know that's not the case. I remember thinking all those same things.

The answer is never clear. Everybody who leaves does so for a different reason. Mine was a mix of a few things: I've known my parents my whole life and I could smell the fear/lie when they said they were 'proud' (my dad, of all tough guys, was almost in tears worrying in the week before I left for the academy. Easy to support the dream, hard to support the reality). The biggest reason was the length of the hiring process. I actually came to this forum as an attempt to stay interested. People I tested with were on their way, and I was still waiting for a background interview. Meanwhile life was moving on, and LE was seeming farther & farther from ideal. Those on this forum who I was PM-ing prior to going knew I was on the fence (my favorite PM was the question 'free rent & gravy or cheap rent & red wine?), but I tried not to be so obvious in public. I arrive 9/18 not sure how long I'd stay,a d the more I listened to what the instructors (NOT staff officers...BIG differance) had to say about 'the life,' the more I knew I was in the wrong place. I talked to a lot of fellow cadets, and many said not to quit, so I didn't. But when the ones who knew me best (TheForceCHP & undertow999) knew I was done, I was done. They were more supportive than anyone because instead of waving pompoms, they actually listened, and I didn't leave until I felt they'd be OK with it. Love those guys!

Some leave for injuries, some for family (one guy's wife had a baby the 1st weekend, and there were complications with the birth, so it's a no brainer what was a priority), one left for medical reasons. I REALLY dislike posts here calling everyone who doesn't graduate bad things, because, like LE, the only thing black & white is the car. All have different circumstances.

Have your boyfriends/fiancees/spouses/whoever who are thinking of leaving talk to The ForceCHP (pm me if they need a name...if that cadet wanted it posted, s/he would have done so). I can't imagine a bigger heart to support someone.

But SHOULD they leave, they can all take comfort in the fact that nobody could have made a more embarassing exit than I did!

ZERO regrets. The winery is doing better than ever, I'm learning to make wine so perhaps one day I too will be mad scientist extraordinnaire.

As for makakona...I might still be there if she were part of my family. She's a beautiful person, and her husband is probably one of the luckiest cadets ever.

[JC]

I wonder how difficult it will be for your BF to get assigned to San Diego?

A very long long shot he will be stationed down in San Diego

[23112]

My BF is going into his 7th week . He is one of the older cadets mid 30's. Its very difficult to keep him modivated. He is physcially fit and was prepared for the academy. He has had a few injuries already. He has thought about quitting due to his injuries. How do I keep him from quitting. He has waited years to get in and has worked hard like everyone else to get this far.

He can make it if he really wants it! I was in the "older" group at the Academy and I made it through, even after tearing my labrum. In fact, I only missed one day of PT. He's invested too much to quit!

[Mac]

I wonder how difficult it will be for your BF to get assigned to San Diego?
See my most recent post in this thread: http://www.chpforums.com/Default.aspx?g=posts&t=1229&p=3