NEVER SAY TO A COP

[Chippysgt]

1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)
2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
3.Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!
5. Are You Andy or Barney?
6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
8. I pay your salary!
9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other
cars around.. That's how far ahead of me they are.
12. When the Officer says "Gee Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"

[WannaBeaChippie]

Funny...:lol:

[D]

13. I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school.

14. Bad cop! No Donut!

15. Didn't I see you get your ass kicked on COPS?

16. Wow! You look just like the guy in the picture on my girlfriend's nightstand.

17. So...you on the take, or what?

18. What do you mean "Have I been drinking?" You're the trained specialist.

19. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.

20. Hey, is that a 9mm? That's nothing compared to the .45 under my shirt.

21. Is it possible to get you to do one of those "body cavity searches"?

22. Back off Barney, I've got a piece.

23. Wanna race to the station, Sparky?

24. I know I was weaving, but I can't find the Honeycomb Hideout!

25. On the way to the station let's get a twelve pack.

26. You'll never get those cuffs on me...

27. Come on write the damn ticket, the bars close in 20 minutes!

28. Hey wasn't your daughter a porn queen?

29. How long is this going to take? Your wife is expecting me.

30. Hey officer is that your nightstick or are you just glad to see me?

31. I'm surprised you stopped me, DUNKIN DONUTS has a 3 for 1 special!